Questionable Jive

Without a doubt, it&#39s hot when a guy really knows how to dance. Patrick Swayze and John Travolta have dazzled us all with their hip thrusts. Unfortunately, such skill can&#39t be expected of the college male species. It&#39s a hit or miss with these fellas: They&#39ll either have some rhythm or be all over the place, dragging you around for one of the worst five-minute romps of your life.

If you&#39re lucky, one of these precious individuals will grace you with his talents:

The Crypt Walker: This guy knows how to follow a beat, and out of all the dancing guys you encounter that night, you&#39re very likely to make out with him. He holds you tight; he moves you to his rhythm and keeps you there. Above all, he can step back and give you a little demonstration of his Snoop Dog-inspired crypt walking. You&#39ll want more, trust us.

The Grinder: Okay, this can be a good or bad dance style. Usually this type will move in close, catch a good rhythm and sexily grind into you. In some cases, it gets ugly&#39he&#39ll grind into you so hard that you’ll feel like you’re being used to get him off. Some arch their back so far, you walk away in pain. Stop this before it goes too far.

Otherwise, try to steer clear of these ones:

The Sweater: Sure, it gets hot when you&#39re shaking that ass. Dancing can be quite the cardio workout, so it&#39s not uncommon to sweat … a little. Some guys take it to a whole new level. Before you know it, you can feel the wetness seeping through his shirt and into your own. Ewww.

The Humper: You&#39re innocently showing off your moves in a circle of girlfriends, and the moment your guard is down, Wham! Bam! Biff! Some creep has attached himself to your ass and begins gyrating, making it appear as though you&#39re having a seizure. Under these horrific circumstances, you actually are lucky&#39your girls can rip you away from his grasp.

The Shuffler: You spot him leaning on the bar. He&#39s hot, seems confident. So you give him the eye to join you on the dance floor. He walks over and as you begin to experience what you&#39d hoped to be a good thing, it all goes downhill from there on out. He can&#39t follow a beat. And not matter how hard you try to get him to follow your movements, he insists on taking the lead.

So girls, be selective when it comes to choosing a dance partner. Don&#39t put up with a guy who literally “shakes you like a Polaroid picture.” And boys, please be aware of your dancing abilities. If you suck, don&#39t torture us.

Note: A male&#39s moves on the dance floor are often an indicator of how good he is in the sack.

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