A Guide for Guys: Why Girls Fake It.

I don’t like to toot my own horn, but I am every man’s dream woman; it only takes two beers to get me drunk and, unlike most women, it doesn’t take much to get me going. A guy needs only to look in my direction if he wants to rile me up and finish me off. It’s amazing that I was single for so long. The problem with such perks comes with the reputation that spreads. I was once known as “Quickie McClimaxâ€? or “Anyone-Can-Get-Her-Off Girlâ€? amongst some of my peers and one-night bedmates. Now, I don’t really care what people think of me or say about me, but it becomes a problem when a reputation like this precedes me.

What happens when a guy can’t get me off? Well, I’ll tell you.

I am forced to fake it.

And I am sure you all have been there too. We all know men hate it when a woman resorts to faking it, but there is a lot that goes into that decision that they just don’t understand. If you ever find yourself tongue tied when trying to explain your reasoning for faking it, print out this bad boy and hand it to your man.

1) We don’t want you to feel inadequate: My friend thinks this is the worst excuse ever. He claims that he would rather a girl tell him what to do than fake it. Well Ryan, unfortunately most guys are not like you, or most girls are not willing to sit up in bed with a chalkboard and map in order to get off. Needless to say, it kind of ruins the moment. The truth is most women are not as easy to please as I am, and it has nothing to do with the guy. If some guy goes down on a girl three or four times and still can’t get her off he may begin to think he is bad in bed and therefore unworthy of life when it is really just her difficult vagina. If she fakes it, however, she makes the guy feel better about himself, which will make this late-night relationship a much happier one. If you think about it faking it is a real compliment; it means that the woman really cares about you and your feelings.

2) It still feels fabulous: We are not men – things still feel pretty damn good regardless if we finish. I know a girl who can never get off from sex, but does that deter her? NO! She is the biggest sex fiend I know. Does it deter her man? NO! He is getting his (on a daily basis), and that is all he really cares about.

3) It is God-awful and it needs to stop: Now, here is a problem I can relate to. It is a situation like this that makes my gift a difficult one to have. When a guy knows that it doesn’t take much to please me he expects it to happen. When it doesn’t happen, he thinks something is wrong with him. He is right. I am forced to fake it in order to save his ego (see #1) in addition to making him stop whatever horrible thing he is doing in order to walk out of there pain free. Trying to sit up and explain what is going wrong and how to make it better would be futile and a waste of my time; why risk even more pain and suffering when I can merely fake it, kick the kid out and finish up on my own?

The fact that women fake it is a harsh reality to men. But, let’s face it, it is a harsh world out there. Men may not understand or agree, but those of us who have been in that situation know that we don’t do it for our own kicks – in fact, we would rather not have to do it at all, but sometimes (very rarely for me) it’s our only choice.

18 thoughts on “A Guide for Guys: Why Girls Fake It.”

  1. One thing to note, that is horribly wrong is that guys ego are not that fragile and they can be easily coached along. If they can't be coached, then kick'm out…

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  3. Umm I don't know know about any of the other guys here but I might ask if a girl if she had her big O but to be honest, I don't care. I'm not gonna fake mine. But if she doesn't and tells me about it. I'm more than happy to help out after I catch my breath.

  4. Soooooooo…. As a guy, I've had to fake it before for some of the same reasons…. I mean, I am a guy and I'm not hard to please but sometimes, just sometimes you are with a girl who just can't seem to get it right… Sometimes you just want it to be over and get her out of the house! It is a LITTLE harder to fake as a guy but it can be done…

  5. this is retarded- i don't ever fake it! there's no reason to! even if i'm really into the guy, i can still politely say that he can go ahead and finish because it's just not gonna happen. also, i DO tell him what to do and make sure he knows when he's doing it right. lack of communication in the bedroom is incredibly deleterious to relationships…

  6. Well…

    Faking it is bullshit. If you're a woman who has to fake it, you're sleeping with the wrong guy.

    1) We don’t want you to feel inadequate.

    Response: If we can't get you off, we have every reason to feel inadequate.

    2) It still feels fabulous.

    Response: Fabulous does not equal orgasmic.

    3) It is God-awful and it needs to stop.

    Response: Then stop the act without faking and kick him out.

    The problem with faking orgasms is that it tells the guy he is doing a good job. So, lets say your man has you 80% there, and you fake for one of the reasons above. Well, that is his stopping point from now on. He will only ever get you 80% there. I remember the days of not being able to get my Ex off. Well, all it took was a lot of research, and some 'practice' and now I realize that every girl CAN come. If a guy doesn't understand how to totally please a woman, he doesn't deserve a shot at it. Stop giving him the positive reinforcement he needs to continue his shitty sexual habits.

    P.S. Tell your friend who 'can never get off during intercourse' to e-mail me. Or, her man can e-mail me and I'll tell him what to do.

  7. This article just proves how fucking shallow most women today are. If women were true and honest with themselves, and their lovers, they'd ask them to change what they're doing. Every woman I've ever been with has extended me that courtesy, and I've obliged happily, for the sake of her pleasure. The excuse of "we don't want the man to feel inadequate" is a disgusting sleight on women, that they should have such low self esteem to start with is pathetic. Every time you "fake it", you give a man positive reinforcement for the -wrong- things he's doing. Is your self-esteem really so pathetically low, Lauren? That you have to PRETEND to enjoy it when a man is fucking you BADLY? Grow up, and take control of your sex life, you pathetic bitch. Women like you make me sick.

  8. When you fake you are conditioning your man to do the wrong things. He wants you to enjoy it.

    Fake all you want but please don't frame it like you're doing men a favor.

  9. Your assumption that men are only in it for the finish is inaccurate. As a guy I enjoy sex even without the finish.

    Another thing I'd like to fill women in on is that a guy can ejaculate without getting any enjoyment from it. There have been several girls I've been with that I got no enjoyment from even though I ejaculated. Many of my friends have had the same experience and none of us have ever told the girls we were with that the sex was bad or that we didn't enjoy it and none of the girls seemed to have any suspicion we were only pretending to have enjoyed it.

    Sorry girls but it's a harsh world out there and the next time you have sex you might not be the only one pretending it was good.

  10. every girl should not fake it, that is pathetic. just for a man to feel he is great in bed by faking women's orgasm is a huge NO – NO!!! girls that fake it are just teaching guys to perfect a POOR PERFORMANCE. every time you fake it, the guy thinks he has perform the right moves which in reality he did not! i suggest girls should be open to their partners so that they both could achieve the satisfaction of making love or having just plain sex. BEING HAPPY IS A CHOICE NOT BY CHANCE…

  11. you know, i would have no problem telling a guy i was sleeping with that he's not doing it right or that he could be doing something better.

    the problem is, most of the time, even though there are so many of you guys commenting on how pathetic women are for not being honest, realistically it's well known that often if we do say something, you will only cower up in a corner and sulk for the rest of the night… and to me, that's way worse than a few fake moans and some spooning afterwards.

    so maybe if you could take the criticism, we'd be more honest. try growing up a little, guys! 🙂

  12. Regarding #2: yeah, the reason that she is the biggest sex fiend you know is because she is never satisfied and therefore always wants it. Believe me, I've been there, I know. I was with a guy who could not make me orgasm ever, therefore I was always horny. Basically, he just had no idea how to please me (other guys I was with before and since knew how to). This girls bf sounds like a typical douchebag. He doesn't give a crap about her getting off because he is more interested in his own pleasure. If this girl could be with a guy who knew how to please her, I can guarantee that she would leave this guy in a heartbeat, because she would realize how much better sex can be when your lover is not selfish.

  13. It's weird and unnatural if in a coitus between male and female, the female can't get an orgasm… know why?, cause i believe that "everything is balance".

    I think there is something wrong with, first: the arousal, second: the technique and the last thing: the endurance

    But still…! i think the simple thing like : female 'sensitivity' and male 'power' should be enough.

    Or perhaps that "You eat when you're not hungry enough" is the problem?

    Or a worst scenario that "Man not men enough, lack of power and woman not woman enough, lack of sensitivity"

    Conclusion? Be Normal an Be Healthy and everything will Be Fine!!!

  14. thanks for the tips … really helpful. but as a guy, I get off (in part) on knowing that you're getting off. and it's really not a big deal. just tell me how you want it and I'll give it to you. simple. no need to get ego's involved … and to be honest, I don't care how you want it, just so long as I'm getting some too 😉

    and this thing about reaching orgasm, it's 99% mental. all you need is someone to rub you the right way, the rest is up to you. my guidance teacher always told me, with enough focus and dedication you can achieve anything! well, it's true.

    and the issue of performance, again, 99% mental. I can orgasm 10, 15 times on a good night … the trick is: don't stop. just keep going and going and going and going and … dammit, now I'm horny again … and Miss COED 2009 has such tight little … damn … somebody get me a towel …


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