Moving Home After College: Living with My 54 Year Old Roommates Named ‘Mom & Dad’

There is no greater reality check than the one you experience upon receiving your diploma. You pounded thousands of cans of cheap beer, housed approximately 23 slices of pizza a week, guzzled bottles of Jack for breakfast, turned out a chick or two, and maybe even made it to a class a semester. Now with one handshake and reception of a piece of paper theres nothing left, its all over. You might find yourself pondering the all important question: Now what?

College gives you freedom to do whatever it is you want. You can reinvent yourself or define who you are. But guess what big shot, its all over, and its time to have 54 year old roommates again named none other than Mom and Dad. It hurts when for years of making your own rules comes crashing down and lands in your lap. If your parents are like the average American parental team, they don’t want the new tough “I’m 22 and I’ll do what I want” college grad, they want the sweet little 18 year old boy they sent off for higher learning.

Theres a few reasons why you might become suicidal within the matter of weeks. Say you happen to stay out chasin’ tail with the fellas until 5am; the rents are gonna want an answer. What if you happen to slip into a happy hour and get a little sloppy before returning home for dinner. “Is this what we paid $120,00 for? A drunk, unemployed loser?!?!!?!?” Now for the worst of it all. Chicks.

Girls appreciate an educated man. They like to know that someone has spent time building a foundation for their future. They are not, however, impressed by a college grad that still lives with mommy and daddy. I know the obvious answer: Move out on your own…..you were thinking that…right? It’s not that easy to pay rent and utilities on your own once those horrendous Sallie Mae loans kick in, along with car payments, phone bills, gym memberships, food etc. Sooo….get ready for a lot of this…

“Okay Becky, make sure you are really quiet once we get inside. My “roommates” had a long night at church bingo and have to wake up early tomorrow to go get hip replacements”

Can you see how that really wouldn’t work? It makes things very uncomfortable. I would like to provide some quick advice. Suck it up and deal with it. Start working hard, save money, and get the hell out as soon as you can. Restore your freedom, stay up late, bang chicks again, fart at the dinner table, even get a Carpe Diem tatoo on your bicep to prove youre back. It might be painful, but there are millions that it happens to. Now turn on the hallway night light, get your roommates oatmeal breakfast ready, and dream about what it could be.

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