V-Neck Card

As many of you already may know, the v-neck is well on its way back into fashion. American Apparel, among others, has been instrumental in ushering these undergarments into mainstream fashion and I salute them for their efforts. Most other fashionable brands have followed suit and started to produce v-necks of all shapes and varieties. Now, if you are trying to enter into the v-neck game, there are a few rules of thumb to live by. I have been in the v-neck game for about two years now and it’s a rough and tumble world that I am attempting to bring order to.

First off, many of you are thinking: “The lower the V, the better.” This motto is nothing more than urban myth as the lower the V, the riskier it is. This is not to say that risky is bad, but if you are not in a band, a V the stretches lower than your titties is going to come off as a little bit homo. If you are gay, then this aphorism is what you should live by.

The second question you are asking is: “What do I do about my chest hair?” I am assuming here that if you are stylish enough to pull of a nice pastel v-neck, you are metrosexual enough to shave your chest on a regular basis. This must end. The only way to truly pull off a v-neck is by having an ample enough supply of chest hair. This way you will be mixing signals of gay and straight, sending you straight to the top of the food chain as an utter sex symbol.

By mixing a somewhat risqué shirt with an uber-masculine display of chest hair, you will be on the same level as Bon Jovi, Lorenzo Lamas, River Phoenix and Carl Winslow. Don’t be bashful, free your inner 90’s sex symbol and pick yourselves up some v-neck T’s.

Leave a Comment

Your email address will not be published.