The Dorm Hookup… Ahh, to be a Freshman!

Ahh, to be a freshman again…

Long after the fact, I can safely say that there is no experience that can quite match being 18, fully on your own for the first time in your life, and living in a dorm surrounded by the hundreds of the horniest creatures on this green earth.

As a kid who had a pretty awful high school experience when it came to members of the opposite sex, I went into my freshman year with the attitude that I’d pretty much take on all comers. I turned down girls like a 15 year old boy would turn down an offer to look through Penthouse magazine.

Needless to say, it was a very fruitful year.

Of course, hooking up as a freshman invariably requires a decent amount of compromise with your roommate. Some roommates sexcile each other, putting socks or other markers on the doors to let each other know that someone’s gettin’ lucky.

My roommate and I employed a slightly different method. We just did our thing regardless of whether or not we were both home. Weird? Perhaps, especially considering we roomed together blind. But neither of us cared, so we found a way to make it work.

For example, one weeknight, my roommate decided to have his girl du jour sleep over. They were out, I was in bed, and when they got home, it wasn’t like they were going to kick me out or anything. Instead, they put on some Ben Harper (my roommate was quite the smoothie) and tried their damnedest to be quiet.

Yes, the gesture was appreciated, as the music did manage to nullify some of the groans, grunts and moans. Unfortunately, to this day, I can’t hear a note of Ben Harper without seeing incredibly vivid images of my roommate going at it missionary style dance through my head. What can I say… some sacrifices simply have to be made.

And let’s be honest here. When it came to hooking up in the room, I was far more risque than my roommate. One night, he awoke to see me standing next to my lofted bed, with some random girl’s legs wrapped about my head like a Burmese Python. Apparently, she was making a little too much noise for his tastes, but pursuant to our agreement, he kept his mouth shut. I know he enjoyed the show, even if he never did explicitly say so.

Yes, freshman roommates are apt to share some gloriously intimate experiences. That’s part and parcel of having a roommate for the first time. But lest you start to fret, I assure you that you’ll have plenty of solo experiences in your dorm as well.

One night freshman year, I was out at a frat party and so drunk that I was passing out on my feet, when I ran into (more like she ran into my sleeping self) a girl that I’d briefly hooked up with a couple weeks earlier. I liked this girl a lot and she was seriously attractive, but she was a ridiculous loud-talker, which bothered me so much that I had to end it. Anyway, she saw my inebriated state and told me that she was taking me home.

Upon returning to my dorm room, I immediately put my head down on my bed and began to pass out. Upon discovering that my roommate wasn’t home, this girl turned off the lights, locked the door behind us, and pulled me back to my feet. She gave me a passionate kiss, and then in one swift motion, dropped to her knees while simultaneously yanking off my pants and then went to town. When all was said and done, she stood up, gave me a kiss on the cheek and said, “you are REALLY drunk… you should go to bed.â€? And without another word, she was out the door.

Ahh, to be a freshman again…

5 thoughts on “The Dorm Hookup… Ahh, to be a Freshman!”

  1. If you got to college to get drunk and have sex, you are missing the point. You go to college to meet people, and get to know them emotionally and intellectually,not sexually. And you also go to school to GET A DEGREE. If you stop trying to sleep with girls and start focusing on your studies and getting to know people as people, you will come out with a more rewarding experience.

  2. PORKCUNTSHARDANDFAST

    this is why its very important to NEVER use a condom. you wanna fuck a vagina, not a condom, right? with a condom, you will never feel the silky smoothness of the fucktube. also the chick wont feel your hot, thick liquid spurting into her with that shit. so, DONT DO IT! 🙂

  3. PORKCUNTSHARDANDFAST – u can't be serious. W/ as many STD's and stuff going around. There's no way in the world I'd have sex w/o a condom. Ur still gonna FEEL jus as u would w/o one. I've done it both ways and I'd never do it again w/o a condom. There was too big a chance that she'd get pregnant or that one of us may have something and pass it on. One of my ex's jus caught an STD because she went at it RAW w/o a condom the the FIRST time. Luckily it was curable. Next time she may not be so lucky & that goes for ANYONE who doesn't use a condom. All I can say is this, be SMART & use a condom cause you can't tell just by looking at a person what they have & too many of my friends that DIDN'T like to use condoms have kids now…it's ur choice. Me personally, I use a condom EVERYTIME.

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