The Krankcycle: Another Reason to Avoid the Gym

I’ve went to the gym a total of four times in my entire life, and never plan on going again. I understand the act of great courage that goes into being overweight and exercising at the gym, in the public.

In my case, I can’t get over the fact that I feel like a total idiot next to ripped dudes that can bench my body weight with one arm tied behind their back.

So I stay at home, flabby in the mid-section, and play Guitar Hero III on Hard (not Expert…yet). That’s how I get my feeling of self-satisfaction.

The most recent innovation in exercising is Krankcycling, a form of working out that resembles mixing batter in a bowl. Johnny Goldberg (“Johnny G.” to the hip cats), who previously created Spinning, is the developer of this upper-body workout. It’s sure to do well in California, home of EZ-living gym rats looking for the next big trend in exercising.

According to an article in the New York Times, the Krankcycle is for experts only:

“When Krankcycles first showed up, people who weren’t very athletic didn’t really understand them,” said Brian Hannah, a fitness director at two Club One outlets. “But members who were more athletic and use the gym more often realized what they did. They call it a ‘spinner for the upper body.’”

Mr. Hannah is right: I don’t understand the Krankcycle. I don’t understand how it’s ushering in a new era of exercising, nor do I “get” the concept of spinning my arms in a contraption when I can masturbate and get the same effect (with better results). My forearms put Popeye to shame.

3 thoughts on “The Krankcycle: Another Reason to Avoid the Gym”

  1. I feel compelled to comment on such a biased and un-educated piece of journalism (I apologise to any other journalists that may get to read this).Why would a person who has been "to the gym a total of four times in my entire life, and never plan on going again" be given the task of reporting on a topic they have no knowledge of nor do they appear interested in learning about it either? This goes to whoever distributes these reporting jobs,why?

    The only reference made to other opinions of the KrankCycle was from a person not with opposing views to the journalist,but exactly the same.What is achieved by that? I can understand having opposing views in a report,it would make for constructive reading,to show "both sides of the same coin" but to show a report of equally poor lack of education,knowledge & professionalism reeks of un-profeesionalism.As for the writer's final line,that merely shows his lack of class…and possibly age too.

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  3. I feel compelled to tell you that Rick is a goddamn idiot. That said, this looks like a machine I used at Craig Hospital (a rehabilitation center for brain and spinal cord injuries). As a paraplegic with little to no arm strength I found it to be a difficult. I'd say that if you could do curls with 20 pound dumbbells, then this machine probably won't help.

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