Brew Review: Heineken Lager

People hate anything that’s average, so why settle for anything less than the best? Well, for starters, when money is an issue it’s not a good idea to drop your weekly paycheck on beer (fun, but not smart).

The average Joe – no offense, simple Joes – can’t afford to drink Sierra Nevada all the time. When one wants style on a budget they go Red Stripe or, more often, Heineken.

Something about a Heineken screams good times with good people (not great, mind you, but good). A casual trip down to the local pub for a few beers, leaving home by yourself but nice and buzzed – that’s what a Heineken’s all about.

Heineken does have a distinct taste too, though the distinction is its tastelessness. It’s like drinking slightly-bitter water with suds (and alcohol). Knocking back a 12-pack is not only easy, but kind of dangerous, considering!

You don’t pour a Heine into some fancy Pilsner glass; you drink it lukewarm in the bottle, crying over your ex-girlfriend in a deserted pool hall. Heineken isn’t your girlfriend – it’s your best friend. Sure, he’s rough around the edges, and can be a prick sometimes, but he’s always there for you.

(Really: Heineken can be found everywhere!)

Heineken Lager stats:

Tastes like: sweet water spiked with alcohol

Smells like: an old friend, washed out and skunked

Alcohol content: 5.00%, and be weary – it sneaks up on you!

2 thoughts on “Brew Review: Heineken Lager”

  1. Since when is Heineken fit in the same budget as Red Stripe? I'm guessing that it's right around the same price range as Sierra Nevada. Plus…the Heiny always has a skunky taste. I guess the Heineken rep gave away a few cases to get this article posted.

    Da Coach
    "Drink Wine"

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