Trailer Trash: Movie Trailer Reviews

“To see or not to see, that is the question: Whether tis nobler in the mind to suffer the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune, or whether I should see that sh*tty looking movie.”

– Hamlet, Act III, Scene I

For all of history, people have been swayed to see things based on trailers. Shakespeare used to preview his upcoming plays by pulling a horse drawn trailer around London and having the actors show only the coolest and most action packed moments from the work. Needless to say, it worked for him. So now let us look at just a few trailers and decide whether to see or not see.

You Don’t Mess With The Zohan

[youtube https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d9jt1OHyagI&hl=en]
What is it? Adam Sandler stars as an Israeli Mossad agent who fakes his death so he can re-emerge in New York City as a hair stylist.

To see or not to see? Not to see. Straight up, I didn’t laugh once watching this trailer. The only thing I was amused by is that Nick Swardson is in it, because he is awesome. I know there are many Sandler fans that will see anything he puts out, but from the trailer, Zohan seems more like Little Nicky than Happy Gilmore. Seeing Judd Apatow is involved, that’s a major disappointment.

The demographic of people who go see Sandler movies are the 18-35 males, and you get the impression that guys our age just want to see a movie about a hair stylist or that we want to watch Adam Sandler walk around in his underwear. Did anyone see Munich? That movie is about Mossad agents. Go see that. You Don’t Mess with the Zohan does appear to have gotten one thing right, though – Rob Schneider is a terrorist.

Speed Racer

[youtube https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8aLwVYmcBg8&hl=en]
What is it? Based on the classic 1960’s Japanese animated series chronicling the aspirations of a young race car driver as he attempts to obtain glory, with the help of his family and the Mach 5, the advanced car created by his father.

To see or not to see? See. After the first trailer for Speed Racer came out a few months ago, people, including myself, were worried. It just did not look that good. However, after seeing this trailer, I want to see it. While I think the Wachowski brothers have taken a few liberties with the show, the trailer shows a style and tone that respects the source material without having to be limited by it.

Two things from the trailer did worry me. First, the ninjas fighting Speed Racer, and John Goodman. With the news of Leonardo DiCaprio going to make an Akira film, Speed Racer could be the first of a series of live-action films based on anime, which would be pretty cool.

88 Minutes

[youtube https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jgFEdgoJIo4&hl=en]
What is it? Al Pacino stars as Dr. Jack Gramm, a college professor who moonlights as a forensic psychiatrist for the FBI. When Gramm receives a death threat claiming he has only 88 minutes to live, he must use all his skills and training to narrow down the possible suspects, who include a disgruntled student, a jilted former lover, and a serial killer who is already on death row, before his time runs out.

To see or not to see? Maybe see. Did you get all of that synopsis just from watching the trailer, because I did not. This has the feel of a movie which is trying to do too much. The concept of someone having only 88 minutes to solve their own murder seems interesting, but I think they are going to make it way more complicated than that. Cramming a bunch of twists and turns makes not a good thriller. What would be cool is if the film was 88 minutes and he figured everything out in real-time, like 24.

Judging from the trailer, it seems that 88 Minutes is more likely to be a 100 minute boring episode of Law & Order without Sam Waterston. If you think I’m being harsh, think about this: If someone randomly called you and said you have 88 minutes to live, would you go to work? Yeah…I think I’d call in sick. Pacino acts like that sort of thing happens to him all of the time. In which case, maybe you should stop being such an a**hole and avoid getting your life threatened.

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