He Said/She Said: He Took The Number and Never Called

My friend met a great guy last weekend. They hung out at the bar and when it closed he walked her home. When they arrived at her place, they sat on her stoop and talked, flirted, laughed.

It wasn’t until the sun started coming up (and she realized she had to be at her internship in the AM), that they realized how long they had been out there. He took her number, gave her a kiss and went on his merry way. She was excited…until a week went by with no word from him.

She couldn’t understand what happened. I couldn’t help her, either. So, I turned to experts in the field of douchey boys: my guy friends. They have helped before – I was sure they could explain the situation this time, too.

He Said:
When a guy asks a girl for her number and never calls back, a few things might be happening. First, he might have been involved in a fatal beer bong accident, and be buried six-feet under by the time the obligatory three days have passed. But that’s unlikely.

Another, more likely, option is that after he sobered up, he realized that the girl was actually some type of human-beast hybrid and his buddies asked him WTF he was thinking, pretty much eliminating any chance of getting in touch. Or he just forgot he’d gotten the girl’s number altogether until it was too late. Drinking might be a good social lubricant, but it’s not the best ingredient for long-term planning.

If the guy’s a player, chances are he didn’t get just one number. If you’re out to hook-up, the best way is to meet as many girls as possible–the more girls you meet, the more opportunities for quality nookie arise. That means last night he might have scored your digits, the next he’s raked in a few more, and by the end of the weekend, he has a plethora of possibilities to choose from. If you don’t get a call back, it’s because you just didn’t make the cut. Probably not such a bad thing, if you thought he was a nice guy.

The main thing is, if a dude seems interested at a bar or party it doesn’t automatically mean he actually cares–it’s his dong doing all the talking. And if he ends up hooking up with another girl before calling you back, that’s where his priorities are going to go–to the sure-fire option.

Lastly, he probably has a girlfriend. Their relationship might be on the rocks, but he didn’t have the heart to just cheat. Instead, he pretends like he’s single, asks you for your number then can’t bring himself to make the call. But no matter what the reason, you probably don’t want to date the dude anyway, since he’s either a flake, alcoholic, player or a cheater. Even if you were excited about a first date, you’re probably better off without him.

She Said:
I can’t lie; when a guy takes my number I want him to call. Do I expect him to call? Not really. Do I hope (deep down in my core, with all that I have) that he calls? Absolutely.

And why wouldn’t I? We clearly hit it off enough that, A) he wanted my number and B) I was willing to give it to him. Obviously, I would like to continue this thang at another time. Oh, and know that he still wanted me and found me attractive the next day.

I know that sounds so pathetic, but I also know that I am not alone. Only half of picking someone up at the bar is about meeting someone; the other half is about feeling good about yourself. That you are hot enough to attract someone, that you are awesome enough to make them want to see you again…

So, when a guy takes my number and doesn’t call, it sucks. It makes me question myself: how I looked, how I acted, what I did or did not do (“Should I have made out with him? Would he have called then?”). Sure, I never really expected much to come from a random conversation in a dark and smoky bar, but that doesn’t make me wonder any less why he would take my number if he wasn’t gonna use it.

[Photo courtesy of howstuffworks.com]

2 thoughts on “He Said/She Said: He Took The Number and Never Called”

  1. It's pretty natural to question yourself. Everyone needs that reassurance through their potential relationships or hook-ups, but I think it's pretty ridiculous to think that just because a guy gets your number or even takes you out that he really likes you. Guys try to feel you out. They want to test things, and sometimes the test is taken without much of your involvement at all. Not your fault.

  2. The guy was thinking he had a shot that night when he walked her home. As they sat there talking and hanging out, he was thinking in the back of his head that he may be in the running to "get some" right then and there. As he realizes that she is not giving it up that night, because she needs to get her rest, he figures the next best plan is to play it cool, not give her a hard time about keeping it in her pants, and just don't give her a reason to think he is an ass. He doesn't want his name dragged thru the mud by her going off and telling her friends that he is just a player. He needs that clean name to help him in his next quest, which very well could be a friend or acquaintance of the first girl. So, he just played it cool that night, but didn't call later. That way he has not done anything truly jerkish, and has a week to figure out a good excuse for not calling.

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