101 Things To Be Thankful For During Economic Armageddon

There’s no hiding it – the world’s going to sh*t and there’s not a damn thing you can do about it. But that doesn’t mean everything’s bad. So instead of just eating ourselves to death this Thanksgiving, we’ve put together 101 Things To Be Thankful For During Economic Armageddon to help remember that there’s plenty in this world that F’ing rocks. (Yes, bacon is on the list…)

Check out 101 Things To Be Thankful For During Economic Armageddon after the break!

1. Still having a job

2. Pork: The “other white meat” turns out to be the best meat. Bacon, pork chops, more bacon. Really, I could eat just that and be satisfied. And to anyone who thinks otherwise, that pigs are extra intelligent, then maybe the pigs should make themselves less delicious.

3. The Shark scene from Strange Wilderness: This laugh makes everything OK.


4. Candice Swanepoel: This mystery Victoria’s Secret model makes us feel funny in our trousers

5. Lube: Nobody likes chafing.

6. Eastern European girls

7. Megan Fox: Just look at her! (But not her thumb…)

8. The Olympics: Talented, hot and flexible – what more can you ask for?

9. Reddit.com: Everything you need to know about, as soon as it happens – and a bunch of smartasses to help things along the way.

10. Clown porn

11. The Cleavage Awakening each spring in New York: After a long, cold, windy winter, the second in a row warm day in New York (because nobody expected the first) is the most bootylicious event on the planet. The jackets come off and the scarves go back where they belong. And the cleavage explodes from every viewpoint. It’s almost too much to take.

12. imeem.com

13. Gorillamask.net

14. Hugh Hefner: The man, the myth, the legend.

15. The end of the Bush era: If only the idiots that made this happen would go away too.

16. SI On Campus’ Cheerleader Index

17. Brett Favre: Because he’s going to bring the Jets to the Super Bowl.

18. Cool girlfriends: When you get one, never let her go – the rest of them probably suck anyway.

19. Dirt bikes: Does this really need an explanation?

20. Alex Mack: The first crush for any dude who was 10-years-old in the 90’s

21. Mobile Internet: The Internet is too good to only have at home.

22. Cell phones: Try getting a flat tire without one, and see how much you don’t need this thing.

23. Flash Drives: So much in so little space – amazing.

24. Blake Lively’s Body

25. Cup o Noodle: Cheap, delicious, no dishes.

26. Medicine: Pretend it’s disappeared, and then feel comfortable do anything. Bet you just sit there.

27. The New Balance MR8509s:

28. Rimjob’s – The Restaurant

29. Jim’s Cheese Steaks on South Street: Close to the bar, inexpensive and way better than Gino’s or Pat’s

30. Text messaging: because talking to you on the phone sucks ass.

31. iPhone: No matter what qualms you have, this thing is f**king awesome.

32. Christina Aguilera’s Big Fake Boobs: A teenie bopper that just went all out with massive mammaries, no holds barred. What’s not to love?

33. IMDb’s Top 250: Never not know what movie to watch ever again.

34. Mark Walhberg Talks To Animals

35. Turd Ferguson

36. Growing up in the 90’s: We know what it’s like to live well.

37. Marco Polo Boat Cruises: If you ever want to have a booze cruise in NYC, these are the guys you go to.

38. EasyNews.com: Best place to download pirated music on the Internet – fast and easy.

39. Rick rolling: Best prank ever.

40. Borgata’s Club Mur.Mur: The best bar in Atlantic City, Mur.Mur is the 21st Century’s Studio 54 for college students – the sh*t is nuts!

41. Side Boobs: Because sometimes the boobs are so great, you can only take one part in at a time.

42. Mashable.com: Best social networking news blog on the Internet.

43. Abby Clancy: Voted our #1 World’s Sexiest WAG.

44. WiFi: It should be free and everywhere, but kicks ass no matter what the access.

45. Single Malt Scotch: A healthy dram makes everything feel better.

46. Sleeping In: Because it’s always better to get up on your own time.

47. Watch-Entourage.com: Because not all of us have HBO.

48. $5 Footlongs: Whole Lotta food for not a lot of dough.

49. Lions

50. Lenny Dykstra: Dumb jock that made 10’s of millions as an entrepreneur during his post baseball career.

51. Dr. Steve Brule

52. GPS: Because knowing how to get somewhere is retarded…

53. Celebrities Caught Smoking Pot By Paparazzi: When you’re life is nothing but partying, driving expensive cars and banging beautiful people, it’s nice to know you’re really a social degenerate like the rest of us.

54. Cleavage: (See “Sideboob”)

55. Guitar Hero: Nothing breaks up the monotony of the day like rocking out.

56. Girls Who Play Wii: Video games + hot girl + moving = awesome!

57. Spandex on (Hot) Girls: The tighter it is, the more we can see.

58. Mike Tyson’s Greatest Hits

59. Pam and Jim’s Engagement on The Office

60. Britney Spears’s Meltdown and Comeback and Forthcoming Meltdown Remix

61. Lower Gas Prices: Sure, they’re not low for the right reasons, but we’re going to enjoy it while it lasts.

62. Playmate of the Year Sara Jean Underwood’s Show and Tell

63. DVR: Bye, bye commercials.

64. Online Retro Power Hour


65. Friday Night Lights

66. Having New Jersey On The Other Side of the Hudson: Because if it came down to it, we could always just blow the bridges and tunnels up to keep the grimy bastards out.

67. Stupid People: You make us laugh, always. (Unless you’re voting.)


68. WAGs: Athletes have a way of making hot chicks come out of the woodwork

69. Google Maps: Because regular maps suck

70. Smoking Cigarettes Indoors

71. The Exorcist: Still to this day, this movie is f**kin’ badass.


72. The 7 Train: Because it takes me home.

73. Beer Pong: Best. Drinking. Game. Ever!

74. Real Boobs: They look better, they feel better and they don’t cost $2500, ’nuff said.

75. Internet Porn: Free and endless – what else in life is so perfect?

76. Photographs: Because you can’t keep Heid Klum’s cleavage forever.

77. TV Online

78. FAIL

79. Medical Marijuana: Because God makes the best medicine

80. Under-Boob: From this angle, life is good.

81. Photoshop

82. Good BBQ

83. Morning Sex: Know of a better way to start the day? We don’t.

84. Sports Illustrated Extra Mustard

85. Insane Football Catches


86. No-Fee ATMs

87. W.M.B.A.T.T.

88. Popeye’s Deep Fried Turkey: The taste makes the massive bout of diarrhea all worth it.

89. Caramel Kit Kats

90. Shazam iPhone Application

91. High Fives: The only true form of expression that doesn’t make you look like a pussy.

92. Dogs: Because they’ll listen to your sh*t and never judge you – unless you don’t feed them, in which case you’ll

93. The Hot Easter Bloc Chick From the Architecture Office Down the Hall

94. In-Mirror Self-Portraits: If only all of them looked this good…

95. Drink Specials

96. Tequila

97. Bodoglife.com

98. Double down: DOUBLE DOWN!

99. Online Poker

100. Ruth Carr

101. Every Second We’re Alive

What are you thankful for? Tell us in the comments!

Thanksgiving Table Talk: 50 Things Not to Say
Thanksgiving Table Talk: 50 Things Not to Say