10 Female Comedians Who Are Almost as Funny as Dane Cook

Most people will tell you that female comedians aren’t funny – any of them. Even comic greats, like John Belushi and Chevy Chase said women aren’t funny. Christopher Hitchens wrote an article about it for Vanity Fair. But we don’t think women aren’t funny. We think these women aren’t funny. In fact, they’re so unfunny, they almost make Dane Cook seem like a comic genius

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Janeane Garofalo

When righteous indignation is done right, it can be some of the best comic material in existence. But when there aren’t any jokes to go along with the rants, it just makes you angry. Take Ms. Garofalo here…

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Rita Rudner

Rita Rudner is like your mom’s half-alcoholic friend who gets drunk on red wine and starts telling jokes. And if that’s what she was, she’d probably be delightful. Instead, she’s just someone you have no chance of hooking up with, who decided to get up on stage and bore the sh*t out of everyone for 30 years.

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Whoopie Goldberg

In general, Whoopi Goldberg’s audience are middle-aged soccer moms who love Walmart, cut their hair to look like 40-year-old dudes for the rest of their lives and think it’s subversive to philosophize about the subversity of mildly racist jokes. That’s not comedy. That’s just sad.

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Brett Butler

The only thing worse than redneck comedy is sassy redneck comedy, and Brett Butler has that act down pat. Why this chick was ever given her own show, we’ll never know. Then again, Carlos Mencia had his own show, so that’s not really saying much.

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Sandra Bernhard

You’d think looking like a cartoon character would help get the laughs, but Sandra Bernhad had to go and be pissed off about it, which pretty much ruined that hilarious opportunity. How she landed a pictorial in Playboy is beyond us. Maybe somebody thought it would be funny…

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Rosie O’Donnell

Loud, obnoxious, unfortunately rotund, Rosie O’Donnell is one of those love-her-or-hate-her kind of comedians. And by that we mean we hate her. And apparently, so does everyone else: In 2007, Rosie was voted the “Most Annoying Celebrity” by Parade magazine, which is only sad because it took 20 damn years for anyone to come out and say it.

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Margaret Cho

The only thing worse than making foolish racial stereotypes is Margaret Cho making racial sterotypes, which pretty much rules out everything she’s ever said.

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Paula Poundstone

Known for her self-deprecating humor, Paula Poundstone is a bundle of gender-crossing sadness in a sport jacket. Unfortunately, she never realized that self-deprecating humor is all well and good, except when you don’t have any redeeming qualities to balance things out. But we have to say, that time she got drunk and took her kids for a drive was hilarious.

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Judy Tenuta

Between her skin-crawl voice and embarrassingly bad act, we can’t decide what we hate most about Judy Tenuta. For some reason, nobody bothered to tell her that using the most annoying instrument on Earth makes people hate you – or at best makes you look like you have too many cats.

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Kathy Griffin

We almost feel sorry for Kathy Griffin. But then she starts screeching, making fun of celebrities you know she’d give her left t*t to be, and all that empathy goes out the window faster than her agent’s business card. In fact, she’s just all-around so unbearable, it almost makes you wish you were watching Dane Cook…

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46 thoughts on “10 Female Comedians Who Are Almost as Funny as Dane Cook”

  1. Gonna have to dispute the women who aren't funny thing with one name.

    Tina Fey

    Maybe SNL sucked, but 30 Rock is fantastic and she's hilarious and sexy

  2. I vote we put all these ladies on rosie's cruise ship and take the f*cker down.

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  4. i like only a few of these comics.
    janeane garofalo
    margaret cho
    kathy griffin sometimes

    ugh, i hate when people say women aren’t funny. a male comedian can be really bad or some men can be unfunny. you can be funny, but a sucky comic too. everybody has a different sense of humor.

  5. Spot on list. Though many haven't been heard from in years (fortunately), you managed to pick the top 10 unfunny women. Lots of alleged comedians on the male side are bad too. You could make a list of 100 men who are as bad as these ladies. Joan Rivers should be added.

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  7. Dane Cook is one of the most sadly unfunny people who has ever called themselves a comedian. This Article failed in the headline.

  8. James - University o

    @alaric – please read the article. the headline is solid. the only fail is you.

  9. some of these women [garafolo,griffin,o'donnell]are what i call female bullies. they say things that if a man said them he would get punched in the mouth, but since they're women they know that wont happen. i saw rudner, she was just boring so i walked out. bernhard wasn't bad on 'roseanne', cho started out funny, but it got old fast. by the way , rivers was funny 40 years ago, a big star in vegas, but she just didn't know when to retire.

  10. I agree completely, although Margaret Cho can be very clever when she gets off the "My mom the Korean mom" rant and actually tries some other topics. But most are just loud and mostly unfunny.

    There are some good female comedians, though–Kathleen Madigan, Ella Chen…I'm sure there are many more, but those two come to mind.

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  14. personalexperience

    I've watched a ton of comedy performances and found personally that most women comedians are not funny to me. :/

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  16. the thing is, there are very few funny stand up comedians, period. most women who are funny are usually writers or in movies/tv shows like tina fey and many many others. the point is, it's hard to be funny doing stand up but it's what makes someone considered to be a "comedian". i would say that anyone that is in entertainment and is witty or has great comedic timing could be considered a comedian. plus, haven't you ever read a book that made you laugh out loud that was written by a woman? i think they put their comedy to better use than a few short jokes that end up being recycled for 20 years like so many male comedians.

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  20. dane cook is a fucking hack. he just drags on the same annoying "joke" (mundane situation) for so long and completley kills any potential for humor it may have had. he is not funny, so this article is really not saying much about the comedians listed.

  21. It has become popular to dislike Dane Cook and so everyone on the internet does it to "be cool."

    I personally don't think he pulls of stand up comedy very well, but I think he has potential as a comedic actor. He can actually act much better than a lot of comedians (see Mr. Brooks) and has good timing and energy.

    He just can't write jokes.

  22. how predictable and uncreative it is to write an article about women not being funny. i agree these clips are not funny but you could find unfunny clips of any comedian. there is absolutely no reason to believe women are unfunny – hello? even if you know nothing of history (Lucile Ball, Phyllis Diller, Gilda Radner ) there is tina fey, maya rudolph (who is fucking hysterical by the way) why men need to believe women are not funny would be a more interesting issue to explore than this

  23. Exactly when has there ever been a funny female comedian? Tina Fey doesn't cut it. She's only given slack because men want to fuck her and she's not a stand-up comic anyway (to my knowledge).

  24. if people laugh therefore it is funny.

    maria bamford does great stand up.

    and i like dane cook. yet he doesnt really deliver actual jokes. however i find myself laughing at him. so i think he is funny. and i will not become a comedic snob, like so many of you here.

  25. I'm female- and a comedian- and I will be the first to say most women are not funny! There are classics who have no equals such as Bea Arthur, Carol Burnett, Phyllis Diller, etc but the point is there are many more funny men than there are women. I think part of the reason is women take things too seriously. They are uptight about topics that can be very humorous such as sex, race, religion; and they tend to stick to such cliches as "I'd be so turned on by my husband if he'd just vacuum or do the dishes". They tend to lack in originality and they tend to have very annoying deliveries (yelling; whining; talking really low etc – I don't care for any comic-male or female- who can't speak in their own voice). Or they are the other extreme where they try way too hard to act like one of the guys but most often it comes off as insincere and desperate. I'm not saying all female comics are terrible but I've yet to see a female stand-up comic as brilliant and original as Greg Giraldo; Geno Bisconte; or Jim Norton.

  26. to: claudia says/dumbfucks

    if youre a "comedian" (pretty sure youre not. most comidians have wit/intelligence), and a woman, how do you not know about sexism in every field of business in america, let alone the show business. the reason there are many more men comedians than female, is simply because of sexism. this industry is prone towards males. Female comics are equal to men comics, just not recognized because this is not known as an industry "for women". Anyways, onto youre quote, "they are uptight about topics… such as sex, race, religion; and they tend to stick to such cliches as “I’d be so turned on by my husband if he’d just vacuum or do the dishes”. Out of all of those FAMOUS female comedians above, who even touched that subject? these women represent strong, outspoken, independent women.

  27. "These women represent strong, outspoken, independent women."

    That does not make them funny.

  28. I disagree with this list, some of these women are quite funny, sure it may not be your typical stand up comedy, or it could just be not your style, but in my opinion some of the women are the best comedians out there among men or women.

  29. Ellen Degeneres is one of the funniest stand-up comedians on the planet, and she's a woman (oh no!) ::rolls eyes::

    Watch Ellen's "Here and Now" and you'll change your mind that women aren't funny.

  30. This list is right in that I don’t find any of these ladies on the list funny. However, I’m glad somebody here mentioned Maria Bamford. She’s a female comedian, but not as well known as these ladies. She’s strays far far away from the cliche female comedy act. Her sets are so odd and awkward, but she does it so well that you laugh with her. She’s very satirical, down to earth and hilarious.

  31. Too bad the college kids these days don't know of the great comedians in the past that dane cRook has copied off of time and time and time again.
    -Eric

  32. Yes, I read the article, which does 'some' justice to the un-funny-ness of cRook. However the title of the article is still uber misleading – and sadly that is what most people reading (most) of this will take with them. (just hinting to ya).
    As for funniest gals listed here, my vote would be for Judy T. and then Janeane G. They were/are both unique and would great to hang out with. Whoopie and Kathy are also ones that can make me laugh. UNfunny I would list: paula P- she tries so hard, but it is …almost awkward. and for the most un-funny (can't believe she's called a 'Comedian') easily Sandra bernhardt. Just awkward, anger, rude, disgusted faces, complaining….etc.
    Check out Judy Tenuda's HBO special or the one on 'Opening night at Rodney's"- she was hilarious. "So the Pope calls me up and he says, (whining) "Judy, can I come over and look at your velvet painting of Elvis that cries?" SUFFER POPE!!!" (out of no-where!)
    🙂
    🙂
    -Eric

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  34. Really? So you've met most women on the planet?There are plenty of funny women. The fact that more men pursue comedy is not ncessarily bcause they are better, it's because it has always been considered unladylike by society for women to be funny. And Greg Giraldo was ok, ut a genius? A lot of his crap was done for shock value, especially on the roasts. Not exactly genius. So I think I'd question your sense of humor if anything.
    Funny is an individual thing.

  35. I agree that women tend to be "uptight" but tbh, it's because women have been taught to be this way. Society tells women that they need to be "proper" and are made to feel ashamed if they don't! Women are uptight because they are never given the chance to feel liberated! That's why we should encourage women to be more proud of just being who they are and free to just have fun and worry less.

  36. Natalie Tran (aka communitychannel) from youtube needs her own show. She's not a professional comic, obviously, but she could be. She gave a presentation at ideacity and it was almost like stand up and it was great. She even talks about why she thinks women are probably the funniest people you will know.

  37. It's not that female comedians can not be funny, it's that a lot of them get trapped into this "chick humor" grouping, and they do not try to go into other types of humor. I'm not sure if it is because they get a little hesitant in competing with their male counterparts or if it is easier this way. I have seen really good unknown female comedians do great if not better than some of the men when it comes to political/cultural humor, but while the audience laughs, they get nervous too, and do not know how to accept them.
    I actually think Brett Butler is funny at times, I know other comedians (like Bill Hicks) found her funny too.

  38. a lot of this sounds political to me. many if not most these chicks, are liberal left of center. so, the haters are really hating their politics as much as anything else. i can't take this list seriously ,it's idiotic bogus bullshit.

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