Choosing the Ultimate Movie Cop To Protect and Serve Your Neighborhood

Unless you live in a compound surrounded by super ninjas, there’s a chance your life has been touched by crime in some way, shape, or form. When it did, I bet that you wished there was a cop around that would take care of business the way it needs to be done. Am I right?

Watching movies has taught us that police protection is best done by one or two rogue cops that apply their own special methods when it comes to protecting and serving the people. Whether it is robo-power, witty comments, big guns, or large explosions, law enforcers from the silver screen sure knew how to take down the bad guys. Why not take one of the many super cops that have entertained us for years, and put them to work fighting the real bad guys? They’ve take down international drug cartels, masked murderers, serial killers, and terrorist organizations so cleaning up your suburban neighborhood should be a cinch. The following are some of Hollywood’s biggest badasses to fight crime on film and our take on how they would do patrolling your neighborhood.

Feelin' lucky punk?

Dirty Harry
What criminal in their right mind would not be scared out of their pants by this guy and his signature line, “You’ve got to ask yourself a question; Do I feel lucky? Well, do ya, punk?”
Unorthodox in his style but effective in stopping the bad guys, Dirty Harry knows just what it takes to protect and serve. With his .44 magnum dolling out justice, you can rest assured that your neighborhood will be crime free in no time. The only problem is that to make Dirty Harry’s day all you need to do is pass him some prune juice; the guy is old as dirt at this point; a point driven home (pun intended) in the most awesome old guy who kicks ass flick since Yoda – Gran Torino.

Judge, Jury, and Executioner

Charles Bronson (Death Wish)
Although not a police officer, Mr. Bronson was quite talented at keeping the streets clean in the Death Wish movie series. Spurned into action when his wife is murdered and daughter rapes, Bronson goes about exacting the revenge that every victim wishes for, enough so that five movies about his vigilante justice were made.
While you can rest assured that he will keep the streets safe, you may have to worry about accidentally crossing him and being the next on his hit list. . . or where to stack all the bodies.

Dead or alive, you're coming with me.

Robo-Cop was cool because no one could blow stuff up  like this guy. His deadpan line delivery even made the bucket of bolts seem kind of funny, too. There is something to be said for the safe kind of feeling this high-tech cop can install in a community.
However, like any machine, he was prone to a breakdown or two from time to time, especially when someone messed with his wiring. As powerful as he can be, he just might blow your house up in the process of making a traffic stop.  Then again, at least he could walk down stairs.

I ain't fallin' for no banana in my tailpipe!

Axel Foley (Beverly Hills Cop)
Axel made law enforcement funny. While he bent the rules on occasion to fit his needs, it is hard to argue with the guy’s resume; he has a pretty good track record of taking down drug lords and money laundering amusement parks.
There is bad to go with the good though. He might run off and leave your neighborhood unprotected not to mention you never know when you might find a banana in your tailpipe.

Does anyone remember me?

Carey Mahoney (Steve Guttenberg from Police Academy)
This likeable slacker ended up being one heck of a crime fighter, so good that his first movie produced 6 sequels (which he appeared in four of) and a couple of television series.
Even though he does the job in the end, you have to be concerned that this guy might spend more time trying to get ‘friendly’ with your wife or girlfriend and not bust some bad guys. Plus he always seems to wait until the neighborhood has gone to hell in a hand basket before doing anything.

Welcome to the party pal!

John McClain (Die Hard)
This everyman has battled all kinds of baddies and rarely when he actually had jurisdiction. That at least tells you that he is not worried about petty issues and will do what it takes to take the bad guys down (except fly in a plane).
With McClain one has to be concerned about the propensity for explosions when this guy starts doing his thing. When he’s done cleaning up your neighborhood, you have to wonder if there will be one left. You can rest assured that whatever he does he’ll do it with a collection of quips and one-liners. Yippy ki yay, Mr. Falcon!

We're not too old for this crap!

Riggs and Murtaugh (Lethal Weapon)
This dynamic duo will do what it takes to stop the bad guys and will not let a silly little thing like diplomatic immunity stop them. Riggs’s does have a flare for irrational acts and pushing the envelope. Murtaugh means well but will also invite trouble in the form of illegal Chinese families into his house. Both often lead to lots of explosions, big gun fights, and tons of destruction- but they get the bad guys.
Last time out these guys both got their behinds handed to them by one person. True, that one person was Jet Li, but who knows what these guys will do to prove their not too old for this *hit. Do you really want your neighborhood to be the scene for their next life affirming, middle-aged fire fight?
So whichever one you choose there will be some negatives to take with the positives. You just have to decide whether a crime free neighborhood is worth getting shot, blown up, or burnt down. It might be safer to just stick with the criminals!

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