Your drawers are not all about comfort anymore; that ended as soon as those fuzzy things started to grow. Underwear can say a lot about who you are and possibly the wrong thing if you’re not careful. Those Family Guy boxers may get a chuckle in the locker room, but you’re probably not aiming for laughter when you’re about to hook up with a chick for the first time (how will you know if it really is about your undies?). We’ve reached out to our lady friends (yes they do exist) and asked them what they’re looking for when you’re stripping down. After extensive questioning and a few rounds of show-and-tell, here are the answers we got back.
The Bikini Underwear Rule: Don’t wear them — ever. Easy enough?
The Wash them often Rule: Surprisingly there are some guys that do not change their underwear all that often. Even worse, there are some who tend to let them pile up in the corner of the room for a while in a weak effort to conserve water (eco-geek). Newsflash — your underwear typically has between a tenth of a gram to a gram of poop in it. So yeah, all that underwear on your floor is filled with poop and lemme tell you that girls do not dig hooking up in a poop-filled room.
The Keep it Simple Stupid Rule: There is no need to spend a lot of money on your underwear. You want something that is comfortable and does not make her laugh at the wrong time. You can spend money on brand name underwear or even ones that have pictures or patterns — but why? Cartoon characters make you look childish and virginish. And don’t even think about wearing ones that say “big tool” unless you’re confident that the words match what’s underneath. You pretty much want something that she’ll be able to take off easy. Plus if they say BOSS or DIESEL and you are anything but…
The Boxers or Briefs Rule: Boxer briefs rule because you have the support of briefs without the constriction of them. But if you’re not a hard body, you may want to consider boxers over briefs. They will help keep the focus off your less-than-toned body. If you go with briefs, keep in mind that they tend to get old and nasty rather quick — as in you have to replace them often.
Appearances Matter Rule: Underwear is not just something that you need to be thinking about when you’re fixing to have sex. Wear the wrong ones while you’re out and about and you may be showing people your drawers a little too soon. There are some boxers that tend to bunch when you sit down in dress pants, which makes you look pretty sloppy. So stick to boxer briefs whenever possible.
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