10 Rules To Understanding Women

Understanding the subtext of a conversation with a female can be a breeze… for some. For others, the well-honed womanly dialect falls upon deaf ears.  They’re somehow genetically incapable of expressing themselves as freely as men, they often rely upon body language and tone of voice to communicate those hidden points. Here are a few simple rules for understanding  those unspoken bits.
1.  Watch her body language. If she’s playing with her hair, tugging on a necklace, or generally preoccupied during your discussion, she’s likely tuning you out in favor of her inner voice.  Don’t be afraid to ask her what’s up; she’ll appreciate the interest as well as the fact that you noticed her apparent disinterest.
2.  Listen for undertones. She may say something sounds “totally awesome,” but don’t take it at face value.  If she’s bluffing, you’ll hear that disappointed lilt at the end of her sentence.  Suggest alternate ideas and see how her tone changes.
3.  Look her in the eye. Cliché tells us that they’re the “windows to the soul,” and it’s not a far off notion.  She’ll look away if she’s not being truthful, at which point you can pry.
4.  Be careful not to over-analyze her actions or you might find yourself single. Don’t accuse her of things without proper cause; fiddling with her earrings because you asked her about what she did last night doesn’t necessarily indicate that she cheated on you.  Females are complex and often thinking about something entirely off subject.  Take no offense, hearty lad; ’tis better the fair maiden be worried about her cat than you.
5.  Texting is free of inflection and gestures. If you find yourself in a text battle because you’ve misconstrued some meaning, put the phone down and invite her out to lunch so you can exercise your skills in reading the signs.
6.  Women are a mess of hormones at least 12 weeks out of the year, and that’s if they’re lucky. Try to be a little sensitive if she seems wildly emotional for no apparent reason; she didn’t willingly sign up for lifelong visits from Aunt Flo in 8th grade health class.  On top of uncontrollable emotions, she’s probably in pain as well.  Not a good time to bring up extreme mountain biking, guys.
7.  If she doesn’t call you, it may be because she’s classic and is waiting for you to pick up the phone. Don’t be a whimp and cry “hard to get.”  Man up, man.  Chivalry doesn’t have to be quite so dead.  Hold the door open for her, while you’re at it.
8.  Girls hate having their eating habits analyzed in this overly thin media age in which we live. Don’t point out how much she eats or doesn’t eat, unless it’s turning into an extreme disorder.  Leave her be at the dinner table to avoid offense; she’ll stop when she’s full, however long that might take.
9.  Let her do her own thing sometimes. If you crowd her, she’ll likely get sick of you.  Women do not dig the constant wounded puppy gimmick.  It’s okay to spend some time apart; she can’t miss you if you’re always around.
10. There’s one golden rule. no matter the girl, it’s this: always, always, always remember to answer “No,” if she asks you if her dress makes her look fat.  Even if she looks fat.  ESPECIALLY if she looks fat.  Bad things happen to men who call a woman out on her bulk.  Very bad.

14 thoughts on “10 Rules To Understanding Women”

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  4. If she´s playing with her hair or tugging at her necklace she could just be nervous, and not necesarily not paying attention to you. If she looks away when you stare at her eyes maybe she´s just nervous as well; doesn´t mean she´s lying or anything, damn. Not every girl is a "mess of hormones" when that time of the month comes by. Quite the gross overgeneralization. For all you know she might just be purposefully bitchy and use that as an excuse. But yeah…don´t call her fat. Unless you´re feeling suicidal.

  5. I play with my hair if I like a guy 😛 o and chivalry wasn’t killed by girls… We love it and if u happen to meet one of those feminist chicks who hates it u got worse problems RUN!

  6. Maybe I don't give myself enough credit for understanding women. Hell! I even knew which one's were going to invoke disagreeing commentary.

  7. Great post and I agree with 10. the golden rule
    Calling the insane fat b!tch FAT is your best ticket out,
    save it for your day of liberation from the fat c*nt,
    constantly on your case about her quivering ever expanding dumb a$$
    Her starved logic is that somehow your denial of what's obviously a circus tent clad tugboat, or just plain F-A-T b1tch,
    will invoke lost kilos quicker than not shoveling rubbish down her face, when no one's watching

  8. emnickaz01@yahoo.com

    unachievable… a total waste of precious time, just like trying to fill a basket with water..

  9. I just pray for The LORD to give me His Wisdom in understanding things. Don't want to make mistakes.
    This is uncharted territory for me.Learn as I go.Thanks for the info,Jesus loves ya.For salvation we just ask Jesus to forgive our sins,invite Him in our heart.He is Faithful an Just to forgive ALL our sins.
    God Bless in YESHUA of Israel,amen,Shalom. CBN.com

  10. You know as a woman I pretty much agree with everything. This just sounds like reasonable advice but ladies we got a commitment to also understanding guys and putting an effort to grow in our own territory/planet. And the last rule I don't agree with. That's cliche and ridiculous. I like it when my man compliments me I would never ask him if my butt looks big in the dress…for one I don't really wear dresses that much. Two I use to have a flat butt if anything I love it when he says you have a cute butt. And if my butt really does look big in the dress or whatever I'm wearing I want him to tell me the truth. Better truth than lies. But honestly I rarely ask for his opinion about what I'm wearing. I don't need his approval. Although if I'm wearing something really horrendous a pointer from him would really be welcomed not shunned!

  11. the last when she asks you if the dress makes her look fat tell no its the fat that makes you look fat

  12. these are the dumbest stupidest rules, I've ever heard. WOMEN ARE NOT LIKE THAT! Women are smarter than that, and they like things done emotionally.

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