Truely Tasteless Michael Jackson Jokes

What’s worse than losing the King of Pop? How about everyone forgetting that the King of Pop actually turned into the King of Creep years before he died? In the past year we’ve been subjected to numerous tributes that all seem to leave out the fact that his nose fell off during a child molestation trial. Sure the guy was a music legend in the 80’s and 90’s, but he was also the inspiration for childrens’ nightmares in the ’00s. So in honor of the real Michael Jackson being dead for an entire year, we present truly tasteless Michael Jackson jokes.


Q: Who did Michael Jackson consider a Perfect “10″?
A: Two 5 year olds.


Q: Why did Michael Jackson like twenty eight year olds?
A: Because there are twenty of them.


Q: What has 18 balls and 3 pubic hairs?
A: A Michael Jackson slumber party.


Q: Did you hear that MJ died from food poisoning?
A: He ate 12 year old nuts!!


Q: What did Michael Jackson and Santa have in common?
A: After a night of visiting little children, their sacks are empty.


Q: Why were Michael Jackson’s pants so tight?
A: Because they weren’t his…


Q. Why did Michael Jackson hang ‘Blanket’ out the balcony of his hotel?
A. He was trying to shake the cum off.


Q: Why did Michael Jackson go to hell?
A: Because he was bad.


Q: Why was Michael Jackson spotted at K-Mart?
A: He heard boys’ pants were half-off !!


Q: Why were Michael Jackson’s pants so small?
A: Because they aren’t his!


Q: What did Michael Jackson call a circumcision?
A: Foreplay.


Q: What did Michael Jackson reminisce about when he gets nostalgic?
A: Blowing his nose.


Knock knock

Who’s there?

Little Boy Blue

Little Boy Blue who?

Michael Jackson


Q: Why was Michael Jackson relieved of his Cub Scout Leader duties?
A: He was up to a pack a day.


Q: What’s the worst stain to try to remove from a little boy’s underpants?
A: Michael Jackson’s makeup.


Q: What was Michael Jackson’s Alma Matter?
A: Bring-em Young.


Q: Why did Michael like children so much?
A: He knew how they felt.


Q: What was Michael Jackson’s favorite nursery rhyme?
A: Little Boy Blew.


Q: How did Michael Jackson pick his nose?
A: From a mail-order catalogue.


Q: Why did Michael Jackson disappear for a couple hours after one of his little friends leaves?
A: It takes that long to get the bubble gum off his dick.


Q: How can you tell if Michael Jackson has company?
A: There’s a big wheel parked outside his house!!


Q: What do michael jackson and caviar have in common?
A: They both come on little white crackers.


Q: What’s the difference between Michael Jackson and Neil Armstrong
A: Neil Armstrong walked on the moon… and Michael Jackson raped kids.

Have a favorite joke that we didn’t include? Leave it in the comments and we’ll throw the best ones in!

136 thoughts on “Truely Tasteless Michael Jackson Jokes”

  1. Q: How are Chicken McNuggets and Michael Jackson similar?
    A: They were once dark meat, now they're white meat and they're in your kids mouth.

  2. I am shocked how disrespectful and distasteful people still are even after somebody passed away. What shall we teach our children about an adult world so disgusting, dim and dishonorable. If people who enjoy such stuff listened to Michael Jackson's words a bit more intensively and did just a tiny bit of good of what he did in caring for our world it would surely be a much better place.
    So please remove this disrespectful, distasteful site – as a parent and teacher I ask you to do so – especially for our and first of all Michael's children!

  3. Good God leave the man alone,he paid with his life,isn' that enough? Michael we love you now and forever. Just for people like above I am glad you are with our Lord.,but it's too bad even God forgives creeps like COED.

  4. This is absolutely disgusting, almost 13 yr old mentality who laugh at rude jokes! But this is about a human being for heavens sake and from your pictures you all seem like adults. Its about time as Michael Jackson said that you Look in the Mirror and ask yourselves what sort of person you are, do you like your reflection or are the above jokes the reflection of who you really are. Would you like your children to see this? For heavens sake grow up and remember your employees can look and see that you are on this site, and that is the reason I am on this site!!! (Checking on a potential employee). Needless to say he will not be getting the job!!!!!

  5. Whosoecver write this is a peadophile. Michael jackson would never think as the fantasy of people that want to hurt his name for money. Their fantasies disgusting.

  6. cantbelieveimreading

    One particular nasty Michael Jackson joke site after realising it was not so clever after all decided to take it down – maybe that is something you may consider if you have one ounce of humanity left.

  7. Find name of a famous CONVICTED mass pedifile, put his name on top of the page(instead of Micheal Jacksons!!!!) and then this webpage would actually be pretty funny!!!!! We love MJ too much! Sorry!

  8. You think these jokes are funny? You are one sick bunch of people at Coed. Michael's nose did not fall off, stop believing everything you read in the media, 99% of it is all trash…a bit like your website actually.
    Why do you feel the need to do this? Do you get off on it?? You are the most ignorant bunch of people I have ever come across. Michael was an innocent man and if you bothered to do some homework and research you would come to the same conclusion the jury did when they found him NOT GUILTY! Shall I say it again? He was NOT GUILTY.

  9. This page is beyond disrespect! Especially when this is about a deceased man. Michael Jackson wasn't only greatest entertainer but he was also the most generous heat and the greatest Humanitarian. He was the only celebrity who had raised $300 Million for charity.  During his life Michael Jackson was put though hell by media, only because he Loved, Cared and Helped save lives of dying children around the world! Let me remind you that in 2005 Michael Jackson was acquitted on all 10 counts and was proved Innocent! But even after his death the media still seems to be after him. Trashing Michael Jackson's name will bring no fame to your page! 
    There exists a veritable army of Michael Jackson advocates who refuse to accept further denigration of Michael Jackson's character, legacy and reputation. 
    On behalf of all concerned fans wold wide I kindly ask you to Remove those offensive jokes!
    Lulu Kordzadze

  10. What the heck are you trying again! Stop this! Let Michael Jackson RIP! MY God you people are very very sick! LEAVE MJ ALONE! You don't know the *real* MJ so stop it!!!!!!!! You make me sick. Is this all you have to do is make jokes about a great man that was a great humanitarian who helped so many children! He paid for children's operations who wouldn't have gotten helped if it weren't for Michael Jackson! Get a life! You are sick leave MJ ALONE!!! MJ can not speak for himself se we his fans will! DELETE this page! You are SICK!! This is NOT funny!!!!!

  11. Michael Jackson suffered enough while he was alive – can't you leave him alone now that he is dead? PLEASE show some respect to one of the greatest entertainers and humanitarians of the last century and remove the "jokes" from this page. THANK YOU.

  12. This is sick! Hope someone rips one of your dead family members. This is disgusting. Michael is a brother, son and father and it is so wrong for you o be disrespectful like this! When did everyone forget that you are not tospeak ill of the dead?! Do everyone a favour and delete this page!

  13. Learn finally to respect this great artist and this exceptional man…failing to love him stop telling filthy things about him, it's a complete lack of intelligence and humor…leave Michael Jackson alone now !

  14. OMG – really?? This is one of the worst sites Ive ever been on. Do you have no empathy for anyone who is not perfect?? Sure Michael had his ups and downs and issues but Im here to tell you HE WOULD NEVER DO SOMETHING LIKE THIS TO HURT SOMEONE FOR THE FUN OF DOING IT – THIS IS CRASS AND DISCUSTING!!

  15. these are not even funny so why call them 'jokes'?
    whoever made this has no respect, he's past away for gods sakes, ur making us fans suffer FUCK OFF. :@:@

  16. you people that made this page should be ashamed of yourself. To make fun of the most famous man on the planet and after all he did and gave to our world. He did it out of love – never for the recognition but simply out of love. And a lot of that he did for you. have some respect. The man is gone so why dont you make that change and take down this page. What if it were your son that the world was making fun of? Would you be happy? What if his children happen to come across this disguting page? Do they deserve to find such awful things about their daddy on the internet? No they don't. Please show some respect and remove this page. If you want to do a page on him – do one on his coutless number of humanitarin projects that he did in his lifetime. I guarantee you will have many more hits on that than you do this.

  17. Is evident that miserable mind is needing miserable joke and sorry if i didn't find funny any of it.

  18. Well this is about the sickest thing I have ever seen. Michael Jackson deserves some goddamn respect. What you have posted here is sick. You obviously know nothing about him~

  19. Can I point out that 18 months ago, everyone would have found this amazingly funny. Okay, maybe not everyone, but a fair few of people would have. Just because he's dead everyone has changed their opinion of him, perhaps changing your opinion after someones died is just guilt, at least this is an honest opinion of what people thought of him.

  20. Talk about wacko! This sight and these jokes are! Michael was a good person and father. He was cleared by the LAW and in the minds of his fans, he was always innocent. You people that write this crap are jealous and perverted! He has young children and these jokes are extremely disrespectful to him, his children, and mother.

  21. Why would anyone take time out of their life to compile such a disgraceful (shaammoonnneee), vile bucket of hate (heeeheee), that's what I wonder? (gettabeatback) What does someone gain from being so down right crass and disrespectful to the greatest entertainer that ever lived? I feel truly sorry for those that enjoy such childish drivel and hope that they can find better ways to serve a purpose here on earth as Michael did. (ugh…*crotchgrab*) Why don't you use that energy to do something good for your fellow man instead of debasing yourself by publishing such tripe? (heeeheeeeshhaaammooonneee)
    As stated this is all just childsih toilet "humor" (ahhhhhhhh) and in no way represents the amazing humanartarian and entertainer that Michael was and will always be. (sshhhaammmonnnee)
    R.I.P our beloved angel. (heeehheeee) Sleep soundly knowing that only a tiny portion of people find this kind of crap amusing. The rest of the world loves and respects you and always will.

  22. This is tasteless and harsh. What in the hell is wrong with you? Do you feel better about yourself now that you have bashed Michael once again? You know they say that people who do things like this, need to make themselves feel better. You wish you could be like Michael, he was a true, unique, caring soul that cared more for people and this planet than you do. People like you are the reason Michael hated the media, and you should be ashamed of yourselves. Oh thats right you dont have a heart and soul at all and that is evident by this so called writing. Why dont you try to concentrate on the good things he did, or the things on on in the world.. you guys are pathetic..

  23. You seem to forget that Michael Jackson was unanimously aquitted and vindicated.It is absolutely the single most irresponsible thing that i ever came across. You should be ashamed of yourself. Although Michael Jackson was investigated extensively, they found NOTHING not one proof was against him why are you twisting the truth. The INNOCENCE of Michael Jackson was proven in a court of law yet you ignore it. it's really disgusting do you feel like a better person when you're attacking an innocent man who is no longer here to speak for himself does it feel good to make fun of him? you're a sick person who are you to judge others? this trash has to be removed from this site immediately.

  24. What is wrong with you people? Why would you even post these jokes? Michael has children who love him, and miss him very much. Have you no concideration for them?! Shame on you!! We as Michael's family, friends, and fans would apperciate these disusting jokes removed from your site immediatly along with a public apology . How dare you disrespect the dead.

  25. Remove that stuff, this ist trash, nothing else. The whole world KNOWS that Michael was innocent, so nobody wants to read those "jokes". This is disgusting and you are a poor person who needs some attention..leave MJ alone and worry about your own seems that you have enough of em

  26. I just wish you what you deserve, everybody making fun of you COED MAGAZINE. I will spread wherever I go the truth about this 'magazine?????'. If you were credible you wouldn't post this rubbish cause you know that many people love and will love Michael.

  27. Michael Jackson was found NOT GUILTY on all charges by a jury of his peers. This site is a disgrace, the greatest entertainer that ever lived died for god sake can u not let him rest. Would u like it if someone was posting jokes about a deceased member of your family? I think not! Grow up and leave the man alone, he will be loved for many many years to come but how long will this site last? not long at all. This is a joke remove the page!

  28. This is disgusting. Bashing a dead man who is not even here to defend himself. Michael was proven innocent in a court of law. He was a kind, loving, caring, compassionate man, with a heart of gold. What kind of heart do all of you have? Out of respect to his family and his children remove this page. It's the right thing to do!

  29. Wow yet another fucked up joke page about the most GENEROUS & KINDEST MAN that ever lived, it is very sad to think that you people have nothing better to do then to trash our KING OF POP, it's called EXTORTION for what JORDON"S dad did to poor Michael. EVAN CHANDLER wanted Michael to sign a paper for him & Michael had refused then Evan said that he will fix it so that no one will buy anymore CD'S of Michael's, that's when Evan COACHED Jordon into saying Michael had molested him when in REALITY Michael DID NOT TOUCH ANY CHILDREN AT ALL. so Michael had given them $20.000.000 then as soon as they got the money they RAN instead of pursuing the MOLESTING of Jordon Chandler now if that were my son & Michael would have molested him i would of said that i want Michael to spend the rest of his life in prison for what he did to my son, but no they WANTED MONEY & not too long after Michael was MURDERED then Jordon's father Evan had COMITTED SUICIDE FOR WHAT HE DID TO MICHAEL SAYING HE MOLESTED JORDON WHEN MICHAEL HAD NEVER TOUCHED HIM, then that other kid came forward trying to do the same his mom had COACHED him too but when they went to trial his mom got up on the stand & said that Michael DID NOT MOLEST HER SON THAT SHE NEEDED MONEY ALSO & since the CHANDLER"S EXTORTED money from Michael then she can too… SO THERE YOU HAVE IT MICHAEL WAS NOT OR HAS NEVER BEEN A PEDOPHILE SO YOU PEOPLE THAT HAVE NOTHING BETTER TO DO THEN BRAND AN INNOCENT MAN FOR JUST WANTING TO BE AROUND CHILDREN BECAUSE HE NEVER HAD A CHILDHOOD NEED TO TAKE THIS GARBAGE DOWN THINK OF HIS CHILDREN, ALSO I WOULD LIKE TO MENTION THAT MICHAEL HAS TWO SON'S & THEY WERE AROUND WHEN THIS SO CALLED CHILD MOLESTATION WAS GOING ON SO WHY DIDN'T HE MOLEST HIS OWN SON'S. EXACTLY BECAUSE THE MOLESTATION'S HAD NEVER TAKEN PLACE END OF STORY you might also want to notice that METHODHEAD.COM had a JOKE page about Michael & THEY TOOK IT DOWN!!!!

  30. This is despicable! Whoever wrote this should have written it with their father/mother/child in mind. Michael Jackson was a father/brother/uncle/nephew and his family is still alive, including his children and they have feelings too. Put your whole family in the situation that the Jacksons are in today and then ask yourself, is it fair for me to pulverize them while they are fighting for justice for their son? The anniversary of his very sudden death is a week away and his loved ones and fans wake up to this ignorant filth? Michael was acquitted on 14 counts of phony charges. Tom Sneddon is hiding somewhere because he should be brought up on charges for what he did to Michael while wasting taxpayer's money. Now remove this out of respect for Michael's family. Do the right thing! This is just the beginning and believe me, I would not want to be on the south side of Michael Jackson's fans – they're the most loyal fans you'll ever come across, trust me!

  31. Do you people have no shame. Do you realize that Michael's children could possibly see this…does this make you feel big, seriously what if this were about a family member of yours that was murdered??? You need to remove this, you have no idea the power of Michael Jackson fans…KARMA is on our side!!!

  32. elaine fields

    Michael Jackson has 3 children, family members and millions of fans who are still grieving his passing. This is straight up mental child abuse to his children and you should be sued for doing this. Take down this disgusting tabloid trash and give his family some respect before you do get sued.

  33. You people have no goddamn respect. This man has accomplished more in his lifetime than most people could ever dream of. Do you know anything about his humanitarian efforts?? How many lives he saved? Michael Jackson's heart was too big for this cruel, greedy disgusting world. He's been victimized by the media his entire life, and SO many people foolishly believed every piece of tabloid trash. The media REFUSED to advertise anything good about Michael, hence most people not having a DAMN clue what a generous soul he was, giving away over 500 million dollars to charity. Bet you didn't know that huh? WHY?? Because the media wouldn't HAVE IT. Why don't you take an extra 5 minutes and do some research, educate yourself, find the FACTS. The people who base their knowledge of Michael Jackson on the media are very close minded, and brainwashed. Have some decency, think about his children whom he loved deeply, and they loved him just as much. This is a very hard process for them, have some damn respect and consideration for their feelings! Find something better to do with your time, like open your eyes and discover the TRUTH behind all the LIES. I have always believed in him, his purity, his kindness and most of all his COMPLETE innocence.Anyone with a head on their shoulders should know NOT to believe everything they see on television. It saddens me deeply to see how many people have failed at that while Michael was still here with us… This includes YOU. Remove this immediately!!!

  34. This is pure garbage and is disrespectful to someone who no longer has a voice not to mention his family. You will be judged by someone who really matters. My opinion would have been the same 18 months ago. REMOVE THIS TRASH!!!!! THE FANS HAVE BBEN LET OUT!!!

  35. I think that ANYONE who feels that it is perfectly okay to crack supposed jokes about someone especially after they're dead are in need of serious mental/emotional help from a good psychologist and are worthy of a stay in a comfy, cozy padded cell. You seem to be deserving of such. But then again, since you have so much free time on your hands to even waste such in creating a site like this says you're friggin' unemployed. It's not that hard to figure out why either.

  36. This is really disgusting, don't you have anything worthwhile to do with your time? Maybe do some volunteer work or donate to a charity? Karma's a bitch and I sure wouldn't want to be you when it finds you! Turn things around and put some good into the world, not this #@$%.



  38. To the kids who put up this site: Your time would be better spent if you open a civics textbook and learn what it means when a person has been acquitted of ACCUSATIONS. And be hopeful that no one decides to target you with false accusations to extort your money. Do your research before regurgitating popular lies to make yourself feel better about not contributing anything good to society in your lifetime. Get off your computer and go clean a pelican or help build a home or feed a hungry person. There are countless constructive ways to use your idle time…you don't have to spend it putting childish tripe on the Internet.

  39. This is a reprehensible and disgusting site and these so called "jokes" are in no way funny. You should be ashamed. You are not only mocking and slandering a deceased human being but hurting his family, especially his mother and small children and all of his fans with this sick garbage. Michael Jackson was a compassionate and kind human being who did a lot of good in this world and would never treat anyone the way you're treating him now. This is offensive to every decent human being and should be taken down immediately.

  40. You make me sick, you vile piece of trash! You have no class whats so ever, this stuff isn't even funny. I think you are trying to make up for your lack of having an actual life by making stupid lame jokes about the greatest and most generous man who has ever lived! How much money have you donated to charity, oh wait you actually have to have a job and not live in your parent's basement to be able to donate money! Have some respect for Michael's 3 children, whatever your feelings are for Michael, keep them to yourself, how would you feel, if when your dead your children have to read lies and garbage about you? Take this site and any site you have access to that is using Michael Jackson's name, do it now and safe yourself from the wrath of the millions of fans who WILL take over this page! You have no idea what your up against here, ask around, we have taken over quite a few of your hater buddy sites!

  41. COEDmagazine = tasteless, low-class, bottom feeders (just in for the money$$$ all for character assassination). Is this how you earn a living?

  42. We are Michaels voice now and we won't stop until you remove this trash. Find something productive to do with your lives. BE KIND TO PEOPLE!!!

  43. It is so easy to tarnish someone instead of being clever enough to see the Truth!Michael has always been sacrified on the altar of human ignorance and cruelty. These jokes are only another example of human stupidity and nothing else!!Nothing was wrong about Michael,instead of telling such garbages try to learn the truth!Look at yourself; don't you know love; understanding? In that case I feel sorry for you!Michael dedicated his life to do Good! You are tarnishing such marvelous and humanitarian man, but you! Please tell us, what did you do? How can you be so direspectful? Don't you think about Michael's family?Think about his children, do they deserve to find such awful words about their daddy?Michael wanted a better world, is it a crime? "Before you judge Him, try hard to love Him!" you'll see it's easy; you only need to have a heart!
    People like you, will never win, we will always be there to defend Michael's memory, to clear his name and give him back all his dignity! (from France)

  44. Ok this is not funny at all. Did you personally know MJ? I guess you believe everything read. I mean come on. Anyone can start a rumor. Even you could be a target. And it might be false rumors but there are people that would believe it. I think it is time to take this down. Let MJ rest in peace. Let his kids live their life in peace too. Tasteless

  45. Hah! Here it is again – another website spreading sick humor about a guy who can no longer defend himself. As well, I love the justification for it. Course it is plain to see that this website doesn't pride itself in taste, integrity or anything like that in fact it is probably generating a little titillation for the creators when they read the comments. How sad and lonely you must be to find humor in degrading a deceased man's life.
    Remove this posting – have some humanity – a little heart and for goodness sake get some help, therapy, whatever you need. You will find plenty of legitimate information on the website to counter every stupid comment you have made.

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