4 Political Issues Guys Need To Understand

Politics: it’s been called Hollywood for ugly people. And boring people, we might add. So why bother, when there is a real Hollywood, filled with beautiful people and awesome plot lines. Megan Fox is way awesomer than Mitch McConnell, for real. Unfortunately, there’s a lot that goes on in Washington that actually impacts you. So, there’s some stuff to keep track of. It can all get pretty confusing, so here’s a cheat sheet of all the things you need to know and care about as a dude in America.

The Wars: You wouldn’t necessarily know it from the news coverage, but we’re still stuck in the middle of two massive wars in the Middle East. Whether you agree with whether we should be fighting them or not, the truth is, it’s generally dudes our age stuck getting shot at. That means you’ve probably got a friend, family member or at least¬†acquaintance overseas, fighting these wars. And hey, with a bad economy, there’s a chance you could end up enlisting, too.
There’s a lot of political turmoil in Iraq right now (what else is new), but it at least looks like this one is winding down. President Obama will soon announce that many troops are coming home (let’s give ’em a hero’s welcome), but at least 50,000 will be stationed in that crazy desert til mid-2011. And while the President is refusing to budge on that, a bunch of war hawks want him to keep them there longer.
And even if those troops do get to leave Iraq, the problem is, they just get sent right over to Afghanistan… and well, who knows what’s going on over there. Our troops are trying to cut deals with shady ass politicians and chasing religious warriors with guns through the mountains. But we’re not doing too hot a job rebuilding there, either (question: can you rebuild something that wasn’t there?), and the President announced last year that even more troops are going in. Doesn’t look too promising right now, but at least women have some freedoms.

The Economy: Want a job after college? How’s housekeeping for your parents sound? Free room and board!
After the greedy vampire squids sucked the life out of our factories and then stock markets for 15 years, things finally went bad in 2008, starting the biggest recession since the Great Depression. It even had a cliche name: The Great Recession. Great my ass.
President Obama has worked hard to get this thing up off the ground, though he’s being a sissy with bankers right now. In any case, he passed the stimulus and some money is pumping in. Jobs are returning, so there’s a chance that maybe, if you know the right people or are willing to do some ungodly acts, you can get a job when you graduate. Still, Republicans are trying to block any spending, because they just don’t like poor people; unfortunately, everyone is poor right now. It’s a big battle to spend more and reign in some of the banking practices that screwed us all over, so pay attention: this is your future livelihood at stake.
And remember: recovery is tentative, so think hard when anyone promises you anything in exchange for some of those ungodly favors.

Healthcare: After a full year of fighting and ridiculous lies about killing grandma, healthcare reform finally passed. It’s not like Europe or Canada, where everyone gets it for free, but about 30 million more people will get covered… even if it costs them out the ass. Progress!
How does this impact you? Well, see: the economy. Most people get insurance from their jobs, and when they can’t get a job, they’re screwed. Luckily, the new law lets people stay on their parents’ insurance til they’re 26, so not only can you live in their basement, you live on their insurance, too. And insurance companies can’t discriminate against pre-existing conditions, which means your destroyed liver is a-okay and ready to insure for the eventual transplant.

Immigration: Sure, you’re an American citizen (well, probably), so how does this impact you?
Well, Mr. Jingo, Arizona just passed a law that says they can demand to see the legal identification of anyone that looks suspicious of being an illegal immigrant. So, basically, if you aren’t pale, white, and blonde, they’ll demand to see your papers. And if they don’t like them, they’ll throw you in jail. Sound familiar?
We throw around the label Nazi far too much these days, but this is the real deal. Go to Arizona while brown, or black, or even tanned from the fucking Arizona sun, and there’s a chance you’ll be stopped and searched.
Not scary enough for you? Well how about this: it could really mess with your weed supply. Yeah, we knew that would do it.

9 thoughts on “4 Political Issues Guys Need To Understand”

  1. You should start by reading the Arizona law, you moron – because you clearly haven't. Or, can you not read? Is that the problem? It is NOTHING like you the premise you stated above.
    Oh, and while you're at it, read up on Godwin's law.
    You're so full of fail that I feel sorry for you.

  2. Cops in Arizona are only allowed to investigate a suspect's immigration status after detaining the suspect for a PRIOR criminal or vehicular infraction. No, they cannot just 'ask you for your papers.' What's funny is that U.S. Marshals can straight up ask you for your papers without reason, and we're not calling the federal government a bunch of nazis. Funny how the media portrays things.

  3. Yea, fuck you COED. Try living here and having illegals steal your car stereo, whistle at your wife, and sell dope in front of your kids school then you can talk.
    It's not Nazi we are fighting to regain control. Right now the illegals are running free with no regard for US oe AZ laws. If an illegal gets arrested in a stolen car with crack and a gun then he is deported and comes right the fuck back over and does it again.
    Your a douchebag and an idiot for the article you wrote and years of your daily newsletter I will be clicking the unsubscribe button over this.

  4. The fact that COED is publishing radical leftist MISINFORMATION is enough to make me stop reading. The healthcare section is one-sided and very shallow, and the immigration part is flat out wrong.

  5. Thanks Coed for exposing these racists for what they really are. SB 1070 is no different than making Jews wear Star of David patches or Apartheid. Stupid people in large groups are still stupid people

  6. AZ Rez is retarded and merely resorting to stereotypes. If he wasn't a virulent racist he would know that crime in AZ has actually gone down in the past 10 years… AmeriKKKa for AmeriKKKans!

  7. Pingback: So…When Can I Park Here? | I Can Has Internets

  8. Look dude. I like the stuff you guys have on your site….
    but stick to what you fucking know. This media regurgitated bullshit belongs elsewhere. You blog on the internet. I don't know why you feel compelled to reveal your ignorance to an entire audience of readers. Maybe you feel like you don't get enough attention. Maybe that's the reason you started blogging in the first place. Clearly you lost some readers/subscribers over this and I'm not gonna call you a douchebag or moron. I just want you to think about it.

  9. Perhaps you should understand these issues before telling everyone else to do the same.
    "Well, Mr. Jingo, Arizona just passed a law that says they can demand to see the legal identification of anyone that looks suspicious of being an illegal immigrant. So, basically, if you aren’t pale, white, and blonde, they’ll demand to see your papers. And if they don’t like them, they’ll throw you in jail. Sound familiar?"
    Wrong. In fact, the law specifically bans your skin color from being a legal basis for questioning. Additionally, you can't be pulled over on suspicion of being here illegally. You can only be asked for identification after you're suspected of committing a separate crime, such as trespassing or armed robbery.
    "President Obama has worked hard to get this thing up off the ground, though he’s being a sissy with bankers right now. In any case, he passed the stimulus and some money is pumping in. Jobs are returning, so there’s a chance that maybe, if you know the right people or are willing to do some ungodly acts, you can get a job when you graduate. Still, Republicans are trying to block any spending, because they just don’t like poor people; unfortunately, everyone is poor right now."
    7 in 10 Americans believe the stimulus failed, and rightly so. Look back at reports from the time and you'll see President Obama promised unemployment under 8% after the stimulus' passage. Currently unemployment is floating around 9.7%, depending on the month.
    Most of the jobs created recently have been Census jobs — positions that will disappear once the Census, which only takes place every decade, is finished for 2010. Then those hundreds of thousands of employees go back to looking for a job — a job that usually doesn't exist.

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