14 Dumbest Rap Lyrics of All Time

Rappers all say or do pretty stupid things at times. Take a look at the picture above and that’s idiocy in a nutshell. Millions of dollars are going out to these performers who come up with the gems we are about to discuss.  While at first you may think to yourself, “wow I love this song.” You soon start to ask yourself “but what the heck is he talking about?” We have listened to rap music for 30 years now and have narrowed the worst lyrics down to 14 biggest offenders.

1. G-Unit, T.O.S.

Unit! Who, who, who, who, who, who want it?
Who, who, who, who, who, who want it?
Which gangsta want it? (WHAT?) Which rapper want it? (WHAT?)
Which trapper want it? My house is haunted

Turns out the hood isn’t threatening because of gangsters and people who ” bust caps” as they say, but because of Tony Yayo’s house of ghosts and ghouls. Honestly though, who wants it and what is it?

2. Drake ft. Lil Wayne-Unstoppable

My name is Weezy
I’m almost perfect
And I work harder than hard working.

Lil’ Wayne works so hard that he works harder than hard work. The rap business is truly hard considering all the marijuana smoking, hoe getting, and millions of dollars rolling in. Must really stress you out.

3. Lil Wayne ft. Young Money-Every Girl

I exchange V cards with the retards.
Mack Maine, not only am I sure this is illegal, but I believe it is also frowned upon to fornicate with the mentally challenged. Stick to rapping about money, weed, and bitches — which is really the only thing rappers rap about these days anyway.

4. Young Dro-Shoulder Lean

Hood n!$$@from Bankhead, I stay by Grandma Nana
I lay by my banana, dumpin’ and punkin’ monkeys

It is never allowed to talk about your grandma and having sex, or “punkin’ monkeys” in this case, in the same bar. I am not exactly sure how you lay by your banana either. I’m guessing banana means penis, so I’m going to need an explanation for that one.

5. Yung Joc ft. Gorilla Zoe-Coffeeshop

I got so many whips, they call me whippolicious.

If somebody ever called me whippolicious, I think I’d punch him in the face. Not because it means I have so many ‘whips’, but because I would have no idea what that means without a very specific explanation. Anything from a guy named Gorilla Zoe though, I really shouldn’t expect much.


6. DMX-Where the Hood at

(a)I beat my dick and bust off in ya eye so you can see me comin/cumin

(b)Last I heard, y’all n@#%#$ was havin sex, with the SAME sex
Same song, same result. This is just gay. Arf, arf, arf.

7. Puff Daddy ft. Ma$e-Can’t nobody hold me down.

You name it, I could claim it
Young, black, and famous, with money hangin’ out the anus

If I was Ma$e and I had money hanging out of my anus, I’d consult a doctor very quickly…unless this is what he intended to do.

8. Kanye West ft. Young Jeezy-Amazing

Standing at my podium
I’m trying watch my sodium

Nothing amazing about this, Young Jeezy isn’t trying to impress anyone here as this is what we call a “filler.” Or maybe, Jeezy does want to watch his sodium levels when he’s giving a speech about being amazing. I guess.

9. Gucci Mane-Every Gucci Mane song or appearance ever.


Gucci Mane is so cold from his ridiculous looking Bart Simpson chain that he has to say how cold he is in every song he’s been in. I too am icy, but it could be because I left a window open, BRR!


10. Rick Ross ft. T-Pain, Kanye West, and Lil’ Wayne

All Black, Maybach I’m sittin’ in the asshole
No comment. Continue to sit in your asshole and work hard Lil’ Wayne.

11. Soulja Boy ft. Jim Jones, Young Jeezy, Fabolous, and Lil’ Wayne
Dunkin’ on the game like Stephon Marbury.
I got red Aston Martin, I call it my strawberry

Really? Stephon Marbury? Stephon Marbury dunking? I’m a huge basketball fan and I have yet to see Stephon Marbury dunk. Of all the players in the league and Soulja Boy pulls out Stephon Marbury? A guy who doesn’t even play in the league anymore because he was too much of an ass is mentioned as a dunker. I shouldn’t be surprised considering it was from Soulja Boy, but c’mon there are so many better choices.

12. Lil’ Wayne ft. Juelz Santana-Black Republicans Remix

Rock star, flier than an ostrich
Penguin would have been acceptable too, Mr. Santana. I also am flier than a flightless bird.

13. Oj da Juiceman-I’m gettin’ money.

Weather man report it was snowing for the summer
plus I got those thangs going for a good numba movin in a grand prix same color as thunder.
That must be an interesting color for a Grand Prix considering thunder is a noise.

Joc, your girlfriends, Woof!

14. Slim ft. Yung Joc-So fly

I got gmail respect the g code.
What does Yung Joc think the G stands for exactly?
With every new song that comes out, we experience the possibility of another terrible lyric bestowed upon us. It might hurt our ears at first, but after a while you learn to laugh at just how bad it is and then you become sad because the person who dunks on the game like Stephon Marbury just got the newest Bentley.

21 thoughts on “14 Dumbest Rap Lyrics of All Time”

  1. Shit, you could write a whole book of corny stuff rappers put on songs. I am sure this is just the tip of the iceberg.

  2. "I lay by my banana, dumpin’ and punkin’ monkeys" hopefully you were joking when you mentioned sex in this line? you've never heard of a banana clip?(obviously not his dick) the streets are often referred to as the "concerete jungle" so dumpin(like you would do a body… you know dump it somewhere) and punkin(bitching, etc. etc.) its really sad how people who dont even understand the lines criticize them
    gucci's "brr" has become mainstream in middle/high schools, go look at some girls facebook pages and see all the people saying brr, you say its dumb but then he makes more money than yall do… so whos really dumb?
    work hard for less money or say "dumb" lines and make way more money… no wonder theres so many broke people in america, looking at the small picture

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  13. Who's dumb? They still are. Money doesn't make you smart, if that's what you are trying to get at.

  14. "Standing at my podium
    I’m trying watch my sodium"
    is an obvious allegorical reference to a fighter trying to cut weight, or an Olympic athlete being meticulous about their diet before they show how "amazing" they are.

  15. Hood n!$$@from Bankhead, I stay by Grandma Nana
    I lay by my banana, dumpin’ and punkin’ monkeys
    A banana isn't his penis, he's referring to an AK47, which uses a BANANA clip magazine, Dumpin' and Punkin' monkeys, basically means he's killing people

  16. Haha. Mainstream rap has turned shit. And I'm not surprised that Lil Wayne is on the list so often. Dude's totally gone on his Syzurp he couldn't put two lines together coherently if he wanted to. Surprised Kanye's lines didn't get him on the list cuz he got some doozies in to. Thank god for rappers like Kendrick Lamar, Nipsey, A$AP, Tylor the Creator, Danny Brown, Childish Gambino and all the old school rappers pre 2000s who at least still hold it down for Rap.

  17. Yep, and there's no doubt that drug dealing and running prostitution rackets brings in more greenbacks than working in Walmart. Makes you wonder why we don't we all just turn to crime and/or become rappers. What's really sad is that these lines get written in the first place; get regarded by some as a kind of 'art form' and then get taken up by others as inspirational/aspirational guides to a 'better' life. Understanding what the lyrics mean doesn't stop them from being dumb. If advocating thuggish violence, disrespecting women, revelling in promiscuity and demonstrating an appallingly tasteless dress sense is what would make us 'smart' God help us. It's already too late.

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