The Funniest, Most Embarrassing Medical Questions On The Internet

The internet has literally brought the world together in a way that has revolutionized how we live today. The anonymity the internet provides removes all shame from people asking their darkest questions in a public forum. This terrifying glimpse into the psyche of the masses shows there are a significant amount of folks who believe in the average internet-goer more than the family doctor. We present you with the most embarrassing medical questions asked on public forums.

NOTE: These questions are unedited to highlight just how dumb our society is.

Itchy Vaginas Can Be Worrisome

“I’m a female and i have only been sexually active with two males. One was a long time (4 years) ago and the other is currently going on. 2 weeks ago he performed oral sex on me and found out a few days later that he had tonsillitis. He said that his doctor mentioned its a viral disease and can be transmitted to genitals.

I’m a little bit worried because for the past day or so my vagina has been itching. There’s no burning and no other symptoms i can notice except the itching and occasionally it will be a little senstive. Does it sound like i have tonsillitis on my vagina? Is that even possible? Could it maybe be just a mild yeast infection? Please help. thanks.”


Asked on:

What we can learn: Other diseases your genitals can’t exclusively contract are the common cold, rickets, and polio…also whooping cough.

Uncertainty Regarding Chiggers

“I think I got chiggers!…I have never had them before…I actually was jogging Thursday..and got into some weeds and after then…I started itching TO DEATH!! What do I do?!


Asked on:

What we can learn: Avoid running and “getting” into weeds.

What What’s On My Butt?

“I am completely puzzled about a sore that has appeared on my left butt.

It is red and tender to the touch, and radiates from a hard raised sore – like having a small bump or hill that is round and about the size of a quarter. At the center of the quarter is something odd – like as if I have been bitten but I really don’t recall a bite. It feels, swollen, and warm, but it does not bleed (but surely if I scratched it enough i could make it bleed, but I think that’s true anywhere on the skin – you could scratch until it bleeds.

The radius of the sore, red area is about two inches. I have no other rashes, bumps, of any kind on my body.

I am 36 and have no health problems. I am at MOST 15 pounds overweight. I have never had a weight problem. I am 5’8″, 155, and medium build, female. I am not sexually active because I am temporarily geographically separated from my boyfriend (not emotionally apart from him!).

I am sure that it could not be an STD.

The sore is towards the top half of my buttock. It does not hurt to go to the bathroom in anyway, and I recall having a little diarrhea about a week before the problem arose, but it was nothing excessive, and I associated it with eating WAY too many onions on a pizza! 🙂

I hope this is enough information. I at a loss at what else to write that might be helpful.

Thank you!”


Asked on:

What we can learn: This person is one of the only known humans to have a left butt. Most of us have just a single butt with two separate cheeks.

Excruciatingly Painful and Incomplete Bowel Movements

“I have a very embarrasing problem. I am really way too young to be having this problem. I’m 23 and i am experiencing ALOT of pain when I go to the bathroom. I have had constipation problems for several months now and i kind of just ignored it and now it has gone to a much worse level. When I go to the bathroom, it REALLY REALLY hurts (feels like I have needles poking me and trying to come out) and my BM movements feel incomplete if you know what I mean (TMI sorry)…”

[NOTE: It goes on…and gets worse!]

“Anyways this has been going on for three weeks (the pain) and recently I have seen blood on the toilet paper and in the toilet. I’m trying to change my diet but its so hard. I have started eating steamed vegetables and drinking a lot of water during the day. I think this may be hemmorhoids but I am really afraid because I have heard that treatment for hemorrhoids can be surgery sometimes and that can lead to some potentially embarassing situations.”


Asked on:

What we can learn: Some people have serious ass problems.

Beyond Nasty

“Hello. I have a few what look like black head on the shaft of my penis. They don’t hurt, and I have tried to mash them, but nothing came out. I have had sexual intercorse with my girlfriend, and she was a virgin just like I was. I hope this is a std because I don’t have the money needed to pay for a test.”


Asked On:

What we can learn: Saber brings up really imperative information for all males…that being the importance of seeking real advice from an actual physician before “mashing” anything on your penis.

Do you have an embarrassing medical question?


Email them to with the subject line “Embarrassing Medical Question” or leave them in the comments and we’ll answer them!

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