The Best and Worst Online Dating Commercials [19 VIDEOS]

When you stay up late, you tend to see some really bizarre and awful commercials on TV. Low production value. Crappy jingles. Bad actors. They all add up for a truly painful experience. The latest commercial to catch our attention is CougarLife.com. It’s not often we’re caught slack-jawed, but this one made us question our very existence. It also got us thinking of all the other commercials we’ve seen for online dating sites, both good and bad. Let’s start with the cringeworthy, shall we?

WORST COMMERCIALS

CougarLife.com

I’m a cougar. She’s a cougar. We’re all cougars. When does the dream die for these chicks?
[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6VYG57yFSIk&w=600]

AshleyMadison.com

Just on principle alone, this site is pure evil. It doesn’t help they make light of extramarital affairs with this cartoon that comes with a jingle. Why in the holy F*** did that smoking hot chick marry that fat *sshole in the first place? Is she dumb? Was he super rich? That house needs blow up with them in it.
[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N5EzM_E4fZA&w=600]

BlackPeopleMeet.com

This one caught me off guard. It starts off innocent enough. You meet these personalities. Then, its tone gets kinda smug and they hit you with it. My first instinct is “that’s kinda f*cked up”, what if we started WhitePeopleMeet.com? But then I started to chuckle when BlackPeopleMeat.com popped into my head. Not sure if it would be for cannibals or just porn. Maybe both?
[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1nCe8fhegJw&w=600]

SinglesNet

I’ve had beef with SinglesNet in the past for their ads on Facebook. How dare you throw up a pic of a random smoking hot blonde, claim she’s single when she really has a boyfriend, then make it seem like she’s “local”? F**k you! She’s in LA, dude. I’m in NY! Anyway, this commercial pretty much sums up what I want to do on SinglesNet headquarters.

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=44EquXnw1O0&w=600]

PlentyMoreFish.com

Not Plenty OF Fish, that’s below. This is Plenty MORE Fish. And it’s ten times creepier than POF. Good God. We know why this animated dude can’t get a date, he’s f***ing fish and he looks like he might be possessed by the spirit of a serial killer.

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YJlPUhmZu0w&hd=1&w=600]

Plenty Of Fish

In all seriousness, they should ditch the spot below and run with this one.

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FAhrdz73OfA&w=600]

ChristianMingle.com

How Can You Find God’s Match For You? I dunno. Pray? We’re not knocking the Christian faith (maybe a little), but it just seems so pretentious. Exclusionary, yes, but with niche sites, that’s gonna happen. But much like BlackPeopleMeet.com, they kind of rub it in your face if you’re in the group. How should you handle something as sensitive as race or creed? Check the JDate example in the Best Commercials section. Do you think God’s up there being like, dude, come on. Don’t drag me into this.
[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CrLziSmIEKI&w=600]

HnWhookups.com (Hersband ‘n’ Wife)

Jesus. Take ONE video editing class. Just One. Please. Who in the F*** is using this site? The number one priority when launching a new business: Make sure your advertising doesn’t look like a 3rd grader shat it out for his science project.
[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kIzByIojv68&w=600]

ToyBoy.com

I know a lot of people are “proud” of the Cougar Movement, saying it’s empowering to women, but give it a rest. ┬áThese cougs aren’t even banging younger dudes for the pleasure of sex, they’re doing it to get back at their f*cking exes who cheated on them with younger chicks! That’s even WORSE!
[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EtfOtAzlpFI&hd=1&w=600]

RedHotPie.com.au

The site’s name in and of itself is just brutal, but, can one line kill a commercial? Yes.┬áLet’s have a party.
[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NF4NJDmhq3k&w=600]

SoulmateFinder4u.DIYdating.com

Trying to start a new business? Okay, try picking the LONGEST, MOST COMPLICATED URL on the planet, then make a sh*tty slideshow of random people using SpotMixer.com and set it to an Evanescence song about becoming “numb”. WOW.
[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8DY2NPg2IPI&w=600]

FarmersOnly.com

Right. Because “city folk just don’t get it”. GFY, dude.
[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6RvyFFjP7RE&w=600]

FreeWebEx.TK

Note to the ad exec who greenlit this POS. Ru Paul doesn’t make me want to try online dating. It makes me want to stab my eyes.
[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s-wlvGFXNoA&w=600]

Hot Russian Brides

Really, dude? You didn’t know? Come on. Either that’s your cousin or it’s your sister. Either way. you’re a f***ing idiot.
[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j287AuVTpGQ&hd=1&w=600]

WorldWideSingles.BIZ

It’s AWFUL. It’s HORRIBLE. It’s SH*TTY.
[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m0VkiFCYQdc&w=600]

BEST COMMERCIALS

OnlineBootyCall.com

“Everybody needs a little booty every now and then.”

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9-N_GZerwf0&hd=1&w=600]

Zoosk

“I’m getting stupid loose”

Dude who gets hit with the dart then crushes his head on the table.
[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C3Dx-hri_x8&w=600]

Findmypair.com (Toronto’s #1 Dating Site)

What IS Love? Baby, don’t hurt me. I’m pretty sure you could put this song over any video footage and you got yourself a commercial.
[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zr3jp2O-ah0&w=600]

JDate

Okay, so maybe this isn’t real, but JDate should run with it. This is what niche sites based on race or creed should be about. Common identifiers. Making light of yourself. Take notes, ChristianMingle and BlackPeopleMeet.
[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mbqCys9p89k&w=600]

GetItOn.com

Personally, I think Van Damme could get me laid.
[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dXw51mWevOE&hd=1&w=600]

BlackandSexyOnline.com (NoBluffin.com)

Another great commercial for a niche dating site. Using humor instead of harping so much on the characteristics that separate the group from the rest of the world. As you can tell, there’s a fine line between offensive and acceptable.
[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BmRz0H1zIRE&w=600]

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