He Said/She Said is a new dating, sex, and relationship series designed to help dudes understand what chicks are thinking – we know, an impossible feat. Every week we’ll be throwing out a different topic for debate…you can read the guy’s side here and the girl’s side at CollegeCandy.com. This week’s topic: picking a place to do the deed.
I’m a very go with the flow kinda guy, which if you’ve read any advice columns out there on how to attract women is a big no-no. Women want men who take charge, make decisions, and take the lead. You’ve seen it in the turn-ons section of a Playmate’s Data Sheet. CONFIDENCE, CONFIDENCE, CONFIDENCE. Yet, in the same breath, a chick will dry heave at the thought of a guy being “cocky”. They want confident and not cocky. So, when a night progresses and you begin to gain more confidence that your date or hang out sesh will end in a super hot hook up sextravaganza, there’s that one final uncertainty that pops up in your bean: Her place or mine?
Now, we take this into consideration only when you both have decided that going toe-to-toe in the bar’s bathroom or other public place has been crossed off the list. Am I knocking exhibitionism? Hell no. But, if you want something more than 2 minutes of humping without a crowd, it really comes down to who wants the homefield advantage.
I’d say the majority of women would hands down, without a moment of hesitation, vote for their place. But, here’s the catch 22. Here’s where that confidence vs. cocky debate comes into play. She wants you to sweep her off her feet – take the question out of the situation and the decision out of her hands. The way I perceive the difference is: Confidence is the knowledge you’ve gained over the night that she wants to go to your place whereas as Cocky is the assumption you made because you just think you’re f***ing awesome and there’s no way she’d say no to your place.
How does one gain confidence? Experience. You’ve been here before and you’ve picked up on the signals. Eye contact, subtle touching of skin on skin. In her head, she’s made the decision she wants to hook up that night, it’s just a matter of how far she wants to take it. Sometimes, she’ll know right off the bat – I’m f***ing this guy. If you’re confident, that’s the case – there really is no question where you should go – YOUR PLACE. Other times, she might just need a little persuasion. So, in which place will that persuasion be a little easier? It all comes down to comfort levels. Where is she most comfortable? HER PLACE.
Of course, that level of comfort might vary depending on her living situation. If she lives by herself, prepare to get your freak on. If she’s in a sorority house… well, I pray for you, brother. Roommates will definitely throw a hurdle or three in your way, the key is to roll with the punches and get on their good side.
Put yourself in her shoes: go to a place she KNOWS versus a place she’s NEVER SEEN. Yes, we all fear the unknown but it’s like a million times magnified in chicks. Right off the bat, she’s like, what if he lives in a dump? What if lives with 5 frat boys who make a living off making fun of slutbags? What if, what if, what if. The CONFIDENT guy should be able to pick up on this at the end of the night and know that her place is the best option. The cocky guy will try to argue, exaggerate about his “sick crib” and maybe even put her down. Dynamite way to get to Shotdown Avenue.
Plus, women hate the walk of shame. They’ll do everything in their power to make sure that doesn’t happen (unless finals just ended and they have 18 tequila shots in them). Guys? Eh. I certainly don’t hate it. Someone smarter than me called it the Stride of Pride. Yeah, I’m walking home in the same clothes as last night. You do the math. I got some sweet ass.
In summation, a cocky guy NEEDS control via his own devices. A confident guy uses what’s given to him to take measured control. If it takes her lighting candles, putting on some Josh Groban, and really girling out to give it up, I’m all for it. Besides, women just have nicer beds, am I right?
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He Said / She Said: Her Number Doesn’t Really Matter