He Said / She Said: A Hole’s A Hole

He Said/She Said is COED’s dating, sex, and relationship debate series designed to help dudes understand what chicks are thinking – we know, an impossible feat. Every week we’ll be throwing out a different topic for debate…you can read the guy’s side here and the girl’s side at CollegeCandy.com. This week’s topic: why guys are more comfortable hooking up with chicks they’re not that sexually attracted to than women are with ugly dudes.

I was total f***ing loser in high school. Seriously. Wrote poems, drew sketches, sent flowers, and for what? The girls ended up getting super freaked out, venting to their friends, and ultimately I’d become a joke. Too much too quick? Yes, absolutely. Especially when we’d only gone on a date or two and hadn’t even kissed. What drove my infatuation? I was horny as sh*t! I’d look past her freaky thumbs, knock-kneed stance, or lazy eye just to get a sweet piece of that ass.

Photo by Jun Takahashi, Riser

The sound of women collectively gasping in disgust is OVERWHELMING. It’s misogynistic, it’s sexist, it’s pathetic. But, it’s the truth. Men are visually stimulated, physically driven creatures. We see a hot girl, we want to have sex with her. Why do we buy cologne, shoes, clothes, cars, gym memberships, and other accessories? Because advertisers, the media, and, to a certain degree, women have implied and subliminally trained us to subscribe to the philosophy that if you buy said product, you’ll get laid (or at least have a better chance). But, even with that prime directive (get laid) running through our hard drive, we should still be discriminatory, right?

"I'd still tap that." Photo by Ben Edwards, Brand X Pictures

Not as cut and dry as you think. While women continue to get scolded, reprimanded, and criticized for sleeping with men, men are measured by their prowess with women. You get laid, last night? No? Why not? You gay? I’ve been in many a spot where I just do NOT feel a girl, yet I feel there’s this tiny voice in the back of my head saying, “Yeah, she sucks, but when’s the next time you’ll have this opportunity? You’re out of options and the last time you hooked up was 3 months ago. Suck it up and take one for the team. It’s better than nothing.” There’s this unnecessary pressure to hook up lest your manhood come into question.

While the majority of women need some sort of emotional connection with a guy to give it up, most guys will put up with absolute garbage to get it in. Butterface? Throw a bag on it. Annoying, high-pitched, squeaky, grating voice? Humjob (or gag for those kinkier folk). In many ways, men are more forgiving with flaws, inadequacies, imperfections, and defects than women are… when it comes to hooking up. Oh, he’s wearing THOSE shoes? Forget about it.

Yet, when it’s a relationship, women see it as a time to grow, develop, improve. Men are like, sweet, she’s cute, she can kiss/blow/screw, and she’s not that annoying. We’re not looking for a lot of improvement. We’ve cashed out on being single because we honestly don’t think we can find anyone better. Women view boyfriends as projects… grooming them to become the ultimate husband (Cue “Ultimate Warrior” theme song)

"She'll do." Photo by Nisian Hughes, Stone

A woman recently asked me, how could you possibly hook up with a girl you’re not sexually attracted to? It’s called booze and/or drugs. Trust me, I went to a school where the pickings were slim, so you had to focus on the positive attributes and roll with it. Otherwise, I’d be this inexperienced prude who wouldn’t know what to do with the right woman (in bed) when the time came.

This ain’t 40 Year Old Virgin, folks – most guys don’t have that kind of patience OR the good fortune to have some 40-year-old smoking hot grandma willing to invest the time to train your dragon. Like Cal said, you’re gonna have to run through a couple dozen hood rats so when your dream girl comes along, you don’t disappoint… even then you won’t be that good.

So, to put this puppy to bed, men are more likely to hook up with women they’re not sexually attracted to (than vice versa) because of A) societal pressures B) innate physical needs and C) it trains us for the one “hole” we hope to keep around for the rest of our lives.

"She's a keeper!" Photo by Mark Lewis, Stone

Check out what SHE SAID at CollegeCandy.com.

Liked this? Check out these:
He Said / She Said: Going Soft Makes Things Hard
He Said / She Said: Your Place Or Mine?
He Said / She Said: 9 Things Girls Shouldn’t Do In The Bedroom
He Said She Said: WARNING, Applying Labels Can Be Dangerous To Your Health
He Said / She Said: “Dormcest” (Hooking Up With Roommates/Neighbors)

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