He Said / She Said: Does Her Underwear Matter?

Photo by Hapa, Taxi

He Said/She Said is a new dating, sex, and relationship series designed to help dudes understand what chicks are thinking – we know, an impossible feat. Every week we’ll be throwing out a different topic for debate…you can read the guy’s side here and the girl’s side at CollegeCandy.com. This week’s topic: does her underwear matter?

Recently a girl I know told me that she had purchased some underwear for herself as a present for her boyfriend. Baffled, I questioned her as to how clothing that she was going to wear on her own body would in any way be a viable gift for her other half. “Well, it’s nice underwear”, she responded.

Now it’d be unreasonable for me to assess her boyfriend’s reaction come the morning of his birthday, having his girlfriend tell him that she has a “special surprise” for him only for her to turn up to his house and unveil a pair of rouge bra ‘n’ panties, but if that were me I’d be like “BITCH, WHERE’S MY PLAYSTATION 3?!” before grabbing those bank-busting earrings I’d recently bought her and sprinting to the pawn shop.

I can see how women got the impression that men care about their choice of underwear; the evidence is all across the our magazine covers. But honestly, the only reason Kelly Brook bothers wearing them in photo-shoots is so we can thumb through Maxim without our missus’ asking why we’re “looking at porn”.

That isn’t to say underwear cannot help accentuate a woman’s best assets. Booty shorts tuck miraculously well underneath the curves of the ass. In fact, it was upon witnessing a bunch of Spanish teens frolicking around in them poolside whilst holidaying at the tender age of 12 that I was first propelled into puberty. I remember staring wide-eyed and mouth agape at the sight of the slight (but noticeable) jiggle that rippled across their bronzed cheeks following each movement they made, and looking down at myself and thinking “I don’t know what’s happening down there, but I think I need to discreetly make my way into the bathroom and punch it until it goes away”. Fortunately I soon found out that there was another way of beating it that was decidedly more enjoyable.

Booty shorts are the second best thing a girl can wear on her body. But, what’s the first? Nothing at all, of course, and therein lies the problem; a girl can cover up her modesty as sexily as she likes, but nothing she may find will be as sexy as her modesty. That doesn’t stop her underwear from being a visual representation of her character, though. A guy can learn a lot from a woman’s mindset just from what she’s wearing underneath her clothes. For instance, if you take a girl home from the club and she’s wearing bra ‘n’ panties with grossly mismatched colors, it can mean one of three things:

1: It’s “that time of the month”

2: She hasn’t had sex in so long that she assumed she automatically wouldn’t be having any tonight

Or 3: She’s color-blind

On the flip side of the coin, if you get into bed with a girl whom you’ve been dating for a while and she’s mismatched, this can mean one of only two things:

1: She’s gotten too comfortable

Or 2:  She’s gotten lazy

I suggested this same theory to my girlfriend recently after noticing that she had begun resorting to a black bra/neon-pink knickers tandem. Commendably she fired back with a complaint of her own, calling me out on my hypocrisy due to the fact that my own underwear appears to be have been sewn together by a quadriplegic 8 year-old, and we both agreed that we would no longer mention our poor taste in undergarments for the sake of our relationship.

So does it matter, then? Do men care about what women wear under their clothes? In a word: No. If we’ve managed to get you to that stage of undress, then it’s likely we aren’t going to ruminate too long on your expensive panties. Now go ahead and buy us that PS3.

Check out what SHE SAID at CollegeCandy.com.

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10 thoughts on “He Said / She Said: Does Her Underwear Matter?”

  1. Pingback: He Said/She Said: Why Our Undergarments Shouldn’t Matter : College Candy

  2. Amanda-Bloomsburg University

    Women dont have to be lazy or comfortable or on their periods to wear mismatched bra/panty sets. Do you know how impossible it is to have matching bra and underwear alll the time? That would cost a fortune. Suck it up and get over it. We arent the girls from your Maxim magazine

  3. Are you kidding me? I care ver much about the panties my girlfriend wears. And who cares about mismatched?

  4. Having my period doesn't mean carte blanche to dress as lazy as I want… I'm no more (or less) likely to wear matching underwear that week than any other. 😛

    By "matching" do you mean part of a 2-piece set, or just color coordinated? I can understand having a few cute little sets in the drawer for special occasions, but wearing them on a daily basis isn't cheap…

    Girls need to have multiple decent bras fit for different tops (ex. strapless, low-cut, tank, halter, light colors), and unless you shop at big lingerie boutiques, you don't always get much of a choice about the color/pattern… what I wear underneath is usually dictated by what I'm wearing on top. Getting EVERYTHING to coordinate on a regular basis would be tough!

  5. Pingback: 10 Tips From Professional “Wing Girl” Marni Kinrys : COED Magazine

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  7. Pingback: Does Her Underwear Matter? - Oldiez 96.1 Central New York's Greatest Hits

  8. John-UT Austin

    Sorry, but I have to disagree with most of this article. I don't like to hook up, but after a few dates, if things happen and she wears mom panties, it's a huge turn off. Girls do yourselves a favor sex it up a bit. Nobody likes the mundane.

  9. John did you shave your balls? did you wax every hair under your arms? o you wear tightie whities? how about you buy some red satin boxers with phallic symbols on them. That would turn me on…. My point is fuck off and stop trying to tell a girl to be "sexy" when it's not comfortable. you're not the one who has to wear it all day. and to be honest I really feel bad for you. Either you
    a) can't get a date and end up watching porn
    b) jack off way too much
    or
    c) have mommy issues.
    My guess is that it's all three because you have a misconstrued view of sexuality. the underwear shouldn't matter because its coming off anyway. and women shouldn't have to "sex it up" to turn you on? is the female form when she's ready to let you do her not enough? guess not. I'm really sorry for you.

    AND MISMATCHED?! Who gives a shit about mismatched? damn you have a lot to learn about girls. like leah said the bra we wear depends on the shirt we're wearing. are we supposed to have a bra in each style in EVERY color? If you're gonna be my sugar daddy and buy it for me then great. You know average bras range in price from $20-$50 each right? she's gotten lazy? what about guys being lazy about grooming ALL the time.

  10. i too like to wear my girl friend panties she give me to wear all the time specially when we have sex on bed

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