Wrap It Up: Kiddie T*tty Edition

Admittedly, a lot of what we do at COED involves mammary glands. They’re captivating and we love them. We don’t however, condone the donation of breast implants to a 7 year-old. Apparently, this kid’s mom thought it would make for a good IOU for her daughter’s 16th birthday. Ma should’ve asked us what to get her; we know what good presents are. B*tches love those things. I’ve read that breast ‘enhancement’ can affect breast-feeding. Well, Little-Miss-Cans can move to China if any complications do occur because there they have COWS THAT CAN PRODUCEĀ HUMAN BREAST MILK. I really don’t even have words for how I feel about that.

Here’s a question: would you eat ice cream that was made from cows that produce human breast milk if you were forced to be outside all day and that was the only thing you could eat? Okay, now what if that same ice cream were made from insects?

What if I told you, you could wash it down with Hahn beer, one of those can make me endure anything. Just look atĀ how they’re made. They use a 4×4 V8 Delorean, ’nuff said. We wanted to use a DeLorean to travel back to ’87 to see Louis CK stand up, but then we saw this.

The heat can drive a man crazy… no, not The Heat (though there are certainly enough crazies supporting that team)… no, we’re talking about the crazy that is Nic Cage’s son, Weston. Or the crazy that drove disciplinarians to suggest an 8 year prison term for a dude who tried to pull a sex doll prank at an Indiana high school.

Did I miss anything? Oh yeah, it’s Dick Vitale got Hooters for his birthday and Rashard Lewis f*cked Lebron’s wife. At least Lebron doesn’t have a torn ligament in his elbow.

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