WTF News Wednesday: Pantless Priest, Cyclops Boob, Get Twin My Belly!

The Pantless Priest Needs Some Privacy

The Baltimore Sun reports that 47-year-old priest Mark Stewart Bullock was nude from the waist down in a shop movie theater. Bullock was charged with indecent exposure, a misdemeanor that carries a maximum fine of $1,000 and three years in prison. Was the confessional taken? At least he was in an ADULT bookstore, amiright?

Teenage Chick Only Eats Chicken nuggets

Stacey Irvine is a 17-year-old girl who has eaten almost nothing except chicken nuggest since the age of TWO when her mom took her to McDonald’s. She said: “I’m at my wit’s end. I’m praying she can be helped before it’s too late.” Gotta say after seeing pics of her that she’s not lookin’ too bad for someone who’s been scarfing leftover, discarded, processed meat product. She’s probably built an immunity to the Freshman 15.

Cyclops Boob Has Its Eye On You

Gianni Molaro debuted the dress you see above at Alta Roma fashion week. Ladies, if you wear this and scold us with, “Eyes up here” we’re legally allowed to tweak your giant nipple.

Dude Gets Blue Balls In His BackYard

61 year old Steve Hornsby was in his backyard when the transparent, marble-sized objects that peppered his home. The 61-year-old said he was walking to his garage at around 4.10pm on Thursday when what he thought was an ordinary storm hit. He took shelter but once the downpour had finished he noticed the lawn was dotted with blue balls. Josie Pegg, a science research assistant at Bournemouth University, speculated that the objects might be “marine invertebrate eggs”.

Student Received Bag of Cocaine w/ Amazon Order

Sophia Stockton ordered a book on terrorism for one of her classes at MidAmerica Nazarene University in Kansas, and received the Amazon shipment along with a bag of white powder that she originally thought was Anthrax but turned out to be $400 worth of cocaine. Stockton explains, “I told them white powder was in my terrorism textbook and so I put it on the table and they’re like, ‘oh, okay,’ And so he went back and tested it. He comes back and says, ‘you didn’t happen to order some cocaine with your textbook, did you?’ And I was like, no!” If that’s not the perfect set up for a porn scene, I don’t know what is. She looks like she can party.

Boy Has Twin’s Body in Stomach

A 3-year-old boy in Peru had the body of his would-be twin removed from his stomach. A plastic surgeon at the hospital said that the partially formed fetus weighs about a pound and a half and is 9 inches long. A team of 12 doctors will surgically remove the tissue from the boy’s stomach. The condition is called fetus-in-fetu and happens in about one out of every 500,000 live births. I smell a spoof – Boba Fett-in-Fett? Who knew the movie “Junior” would be so prophetic?

Stick a Pork In It

A new medical study recommends a method called “nasal packing with strips of cured pork” as an effective way to treat uncontrollable nosebleeds. No word yet on whether this can cure PMS.

The Single Guy’s Guide To Landing a Last Minute Valentine’s Day Date
The Single Guy’s Guide To Landing a Last Minute Valentine’s Day Date