These 4 Factors Will Land You On America’s Drunkest Cities List

Guest contributors Jeremy Zerbe and Ian Riggins wrote this article. You can read more of their work at Places To Do Business.

What did your town ever accomplish? Thanks to a recent list published by The Daily Beast, the lucky citizens of 25 American cities can brag about the incredible honor of living in the most intoxicated locations in the country. While the study was based on the average number of alcoholic drinks consumed per month, it’s more than fair to speculate about what these cities have in common. In other words, what elevates a city from one filled with abstainers and social drinkers to one known for its valiant feats of imbibing? Check out our research below.

Sports Success

Believe it or not, America’s drunkest cities correspond fairly well with those who have been successful in professional sports. When comparing the most intoxicated cities with those with the most sports championships, one finds that St. Louis, San Francisco, Chicago and Boston are represented on both lists. Yes, the cat is out of the bag: people consume substantial amounts of booze when their teams win. This shocking link between victory celebrations and tying one on just might contribute to couches being burned (we’re looking at you, Pittsburgh), vehicles being overturned and public property being defaced. Then again, it might not.

Sports Failure

When looking for excuses to get three sheets to the wind, futility in sports is just as valid as success. San Diego, Cleveland, Buffalo and Milwaukee have not won a major championship in at least 40 years, and it seems very possible that residents have been coping with the droughts with a few icy cold drafts.

Dreadful Weather

It’s snowing like crazy outside, so you aren’t planning on driving anywhere anyway. Why not get plastered, pass out and dream of margaritas and suntan lotion? Besides, a belly full of ale, whiskey or eggnog warms the body better than any space heater. In the middle of February, talk to someone in one of America’s snowiest cities – such as Denver, Cleveland, Milwaukee, Boston or Chicago – and they may just tell you why their town is also one of the drunkest.

Being in Texas

Does this one really need further explanation? Houston, San Antonio and Austin all made the cut for the drunkest cities list. Don’t mess with them.

Regardless of your reasons for drinking – and clearly, almost anything can be used as a justifiable excuse – San Diego Criminal Defense Attorney David Shapiro stresses that the important thing is to be safe while doing so. For the record, there were more than 750 DUI arrests over the 2011 holiday season in San Diego. “There’s nothing wrong with going out and having a little fun,” Shapiro said. “Just be mindful of your surroundings, make smart decisions and don’t do anything that would get someone hurt.” In other words, when your team wins the championship, please try to refrain from setting that piece of furniture on fire.

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