Hong Kong property magnate Cecil Chao Sze-tsung is so upset that his lesbian daughter recently married her partner that earlier this week he announced he is offering up a “marriage bounty” of $HK500 million (shrug) to any man who can win her heart.
Sh*t. I’m in the wrong industry. Instead of being in the “blogging” business, I should be in the “converting-billionaires’-daughters-to-become-heterosexual-and-then-convincing-them-to-marry-me” business.
Look, Cecil, no man worth his salt wants to get married. Even with $65 mil on the table. And if you are going to get married, who wants to marry a lesbian? You think your sex life gets bad after marriage normally… Yeah, see how things go when you’re trying to convince your lesbian wife she doesn’t have a headache.
So here’s what you should do: Take your cash and donate it to the Mitt Romney campaign. He’ll clear up this whole gay marriage thing. And then when he conquers the world, he’ll bring those same strong moral values to Hong Kong.
via The Telegraph