Ex-NFL Player Lonnie Perrin’s Wife Was Locked In A Bathroom For 8 Hours; He Didn’t Hustle

The former Washington Redskins running back Lonnie Perrin just became an All-Star in our book–and not because of any good he’s done us in a game of Madden NFL 2004. The football pro has really impressed us with his skills at being a procrastinating husband. That’s after his wife Karen found herself trapped for eight hours in a restroom at her workplace.

First off, let’s not worry too much about Karen Perrin. Courtesy of the UK’s Daily Mail, we learn that the gal (who married into a pretty cool name) ended up working late making travel arrangements for her boss. Just as she was headed out the door, she decided to make a pit stop at the office ladies’ room before the long drive home. By the time Karen entered the bathroom and left again, she realized she had been locked in the restroom. Most likely courtesy of  the janitorial staff. Oh, and she’d left her cell phone at her desk.

The resourceful lady had to eventually escape by knocking a hole into the bathroom wall, courtesy of a steel pole that she found while searching for an escape route in the ceiling. She works for the Bill and Melinda Gates Foundation as a senior assistant to one of the foundation’s executives, so we’re pretty sure that Karen will still be compensated handsomely for her time.

The real story, however, is found at the end of the Daily Mail‘s news report. Here’s the hilarious reporting that fills us in on what happened right after Karen’s escape:

Karen immediately called her husband and daughter, who feared that something terrible had happened to her after she failed to come home and were on the verge of going out to search for her.

How brilliant is that? The wife is eight hours late from coming home from work, and the husband–who, if he was like us, might have very well been mulling over new plans for the weekend–was “on the verge of going out to search for her.” Yeah. That’s what we’d tell our gals, too. “Baby,” we’d say, “that’s great news that you escaped, because I was just on the verge of comin’ for ya!” Oh, well. At least Lonnie Perrin doesn’t have to make excuses for the Redskins this year.

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