Last night at TD Garden, two completely predictable things happened. The Celtics lost and Tupac Shakur decided to show his face for the first time since September 13, 1996! The hologram Coachella performance technically doesn’t count because it was pre-recorded in Cuba.
So why he’d choose last night’s Celtics x Golden State Warriors game to come out? The lemmings of the world might not have seen it coming, but those of us who know better were expecting this:
Allow me to educate you. Since he first went into hiding, the return of Pac has always been linked to the number 7. It’s called “The 7 Day Theory” sheeple, look it up. If you had just looked at the facts, you would have known that Makiavelli’d be making his glorious return to Beantown.
Exhibit #1: Tupac’s Birthday
Tupac was born on June 16th, 1971. Yesterday was March 5th, 2014.
I’m sure that most of you are able to do that math immediately in your head but for those of you who don’t know, yesterday marked exactly 2229 days since Pac’s been born. 2229 is divisible by 7. WAKE UP!
Exhibit #2: Final Score
The final score of the game last night? Warriors 108-Celtics 88. 108+88=196. 196 is perfectly divisible by 7. WAKE UP!
Exhibit #3: Rajon Rondo
How many dimes did Rondo drop last night? 7. Same amount as the number of turnovers he had. WAKE UP!
Exhibit #4: Three-Pointers
How many threes did the Celtics connect on? 7. How many points is a three worth? 3. What number exhibit is this? 4. 4+3=7. WAKE UP!
Exhibit #5: The Crowd
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The crowd started chanting “Let’s Go Tupac” during the 3rd quarter with 1:56 left on the clock. That means that exactly 2044 seconds of gameplay had elapsed. 2044 is perfectly divisible by 7. WAKE UP!
Exhibit #6: Read the Lyrics!
Tupac famously predicted that he’d be showing up at this exact game when he stated in one of his most famous songs, “All Eyes On Me.” Not only was he on the Jumbotron for everyone in TD Garden to see, the national media’s buzzing about his return. WAKE UP!
Exhibit #7: Start Time
What time did the game start? 7:30. You can’t write down the time 7:30 without first writing down the number 7. WAKE UP!