Our Ridiculous Sex Moves Bracket continues on today, unlike Duke (shots fired). This time we’re asking you all to vote for your favorite “Degrading” sex move. It’s not going to be an easy task, considering all the weird sh*t that people have been coming up with, but we’re certain that you can do it.
For those of you who’ve already forgotten, here’s what the full Ridiculous Sex Moves bracket looks like:
Once we’re done with this region, we’ll update the brackets to properly reflect which “Degrading” and “Celebrity” sex move you sick f*cks chose.
Not that it matters, but my favorites are the “Spiderman” (because it sounds so funny to yell Spiderman! at a chick) and Z Jay because it’s so damned mysterious.
THE “DEGRADING” REGION
Definition: The insertion of one man’s sack into another person’s mouth. Used a practical joke or prank, when performed on someone who is asleep, or as a sexual act.
(16) The Rodeo
Definition: Knowing that you are going to have relations with your woman that night, you have your friends get to your house early and hide in the closet. While doing you girl doggy style you grab her by the hair. your friends then jump out of the closet and scream rodeo. Try to hold on for 8 seconds.
(8) The Eiffel Tower
Definition: A threesome with two guys and a girl, where one guy is hitting it from behind, and the other guy is getting a beej. The guys are high-fiving over the girl to make the eiffel tower shape.
(9) The Cincinnati Bowtie
Definition: F*cking a woman’s cleavage from above, rather than from below.
(4) The Rusty Trombone
Definition: To get rimmed whilst recieving a hearty reach round, thus resembling a trombone player in full chorus.
(13) The Superman
Definition: When a guy busts on a girl’s back while she sleeps and then sticks a cape (blanket) on her back, thus making her Superman. Men usually do this because they are pissed at the girl for some reason.
(5) The Gorilla
Definition: Throwing pubic shavings onto a girl’s chest after shooting your load on her. Results in said girl’s manic attempts to pull off shavings thereby mimicking the chest poundings of an angry gorilla.
(12) Dog In A Bathtub
Definition: This is a proper name for when you attempt to insert your nuts into a girl’s butt. It is so named because it can be just as hard as keeping a dog in the tub while giving it a bath. Also known as “Clown that girl Carl” in certain videos.
(3) The Roman Helmet
Definition: While they are passed out, gently and inconspicuously place your fleshy bag on their forehead while carefully laying down your dudemeat down the bridge of their nose in parallel fashion.
(14) The California Potato Chip
Definition: When you shoot a girl in the back with a load and it dries overnight. in the morning you peel it off and feed it to her for breakfast potato chip style.
(6) The Spiderman
Definition: When a guy busts in his hand and then flings it at a girl yelling “SPIDERMAN!”
(11) The Arabian Death Mask
Definition: The sexual act of stretching one’s testicles over the eyes of another (known as “The Arabian Goggles”), but also placing the anus over the receiver’s mouth at the same time.
(7) The Catcher’s Mitt
Definition: The act of bending someone over, grabbing their buttocks and sticking your thumb in their butt. Make the hand that a catcher does while putting his hand in a mitt and you understand what we mean.
(10) The Oral Reddenbacher
Definition: To get head from some chick while wearing a tub of popcorn over your head.
Definition: If you don’t know what a Z-Jay is, you can’t afford one.
(15) The Turkish Snowcone
Definition: The act of masturbating and letting the cum bubble up like a volcanoe into your fist and making a girl lick or suck it out of your hand like a snowcone