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Breaking news everyone: Sean Hannity–along with hottie Ainsley Earhardt (@aearhardt)–just revealed to everyone that Spring Break is crazy! What? Spring Break gets nuts? Whodathunk? In the video above, you’ll see Ainsley interacting with some of the young rapscallions as they try and kiss her.
The video at the bottom is the highly-anticipated follow-up where Ainsley hops in a police car and goes for a “ride along” which on a separate note I didn’t even think was a real thing.
My favorite Hannity quote. When discussing the infamous photo (that we can’t publish here search it and you’ll find it) of that chick who stood on a box bottomless and letting guys finger her, Hannity looks dumbfounded. “Wasn’t she wasted?” Um yeah dude. She’s probably wasted. Aren’t you supposed to be, like, concerned for her dignity? Isn’t that what you get paid for?
Obviously this “report” is just Fox News doing what Fox News does best, getting everyone riled up about something that’s been going on forever. But along the way, they actually helped to shed light on some of the biggest party animals down in Panama City Beach right now.
So let’s run down the list of my favorite cast of characters:
This guy rocking the Michelob Ultra visor who admits to Fox News that he just smoked weed on the beach.
Firecrotch drinking Fireball on Fox News. As a Fireball marketer, you can’t ask for better press than this.
She’s here to get f*cked up! The craziest thing she saw? Someone doing cocaine off of some girl’s ******. What word did they bleep out? I have no idea but I bet it’s genitalia.
This girl who turned 18 a few years too late (RIP Girls Gone Wild) might actually be the owner of said “girl’s *****.”
“I have vodka and red bull and I’m gettin crunk than a mug.” I think he probably meant to say something and then ended up saying something else, but either way this guy looks like he’s not in college. Props homie. I was in the same boat as you a month ago. HEY ANYONE LISTENING DID I TELL YOU THAT I ALSO WENT TO PCB A FEW WEEKS AGO?
This guy hitting on Ainsley actually came off pretty smooth until he started laughing dumber than the Mongo right above.
Question! Would Fox News have mentioned this if it wasn’t hinting at a possible interracial relationship? IDK, I’m just asking the hard questions here.
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This guy’s not actually in the Fox News report but readers of COED should know that I look for any and all opportunities to publish awesome Vines/Instagram videos of people getting turned up down in PCB.
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Here’s the follow-up video I was talking about.