Donald Trump May Buy the Buffalo Bills…No, Really

Donald Trump–universally beloved as the host of The Apprentice–might be adding NFL Team Owner to his long list of accomplishments. If, that is, he’s successful in his bid to buy the Buffalo Bills.
Trump confirmed those NFL rumors in a recent interview, noting that he’s “going to give it a heavy shot” in response to reports that he was eying the Bulls. People had been talking ever Trump met with Bills president and CEO Russ Brandon. Previous team owner Ralph Wilson passed away in March, which left the door open for another rich guy to come in and swoop up the team.
Of course, Buffalo residents have good reason to be worried about their team. Wilson’s passing could make it very easy for an out-of-towner to come in, buy the team, and move it to another city. However, we’re sure that w speak for football fans everywhere when we say, “Ahhhh! Nooo! Please Dear Christ in Heaven, keep this hair monster as far away from football as possible!”
Seriously, what makes this deluded bean counter think he could run a football team? He couldn’t keep a casino from going bankrupt, and that’s a business where people give you money for literally nothing. If you thought Jerry Jones was too hands-on with his franchise, just wait until Mr. “I Fire Someone Once a Week” gets to call himself a team owner. The only good thing that can come out of this is pop culture having a new George Steinbrenner–and Donald Trump is already way too much part of our pop culture, thanks.

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