Campus Crime: Totally Uncool Guys Attack Guy For Having Sex With Gal

Three jealous bros from the University of Delaware were arrested for kicking in a locked door and beating up a guy who was in bed with one of their exes. The invasion happened on April 19th at 2 am, which is a really bad time to be bothering a guy who’s in bed with a girl.

Andrew Lee, Jason Zimmell and Ayrton Doerr allegedly kicked the poor sucker multiples times, punched him, and assaulted him with a candle jar. Yeesh. That is harsh. And kind of stupid, too. Did they buy that candle at Pier One before picking up some arugula at Trader Joe’s? Fortunately, the attack ended when the poor girl’s roommate entered and stopped the assault. The guy on the wrong end of the attack suffered a broken cheekbone and had to get five stitches above his right eye, three below it, and three staples to the head.

These three guys must’ve (allegedly) had some really heavy things in their purses. Anyway,¬†if these guys are guilty, they should be sentenced to a woman’s prison and maybe sent to be scared straight by Barney Stinson. Also, they should apologize to all the guys of the¬†University of Delaware. This is just embarrassing, dudes.

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